trigger warning: contains discussions of/meditations on, disordered eating & hospital admissions.
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(90) quietly hopeful
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where_ive_been.mov
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(89) wishing, is to want, is to live
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(88) thought con(tagion), or congestion?
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(87) the endless "road to recovery"
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(86) the will of one's wings
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(85) look mum, no hands!
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(84) running late (to my life)
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(83) "rescu(ing) me"
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(82) a body on trial
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(81) so, what now?
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(80) where i'm from
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(79) a smiling light
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(78) holding hands in the dark
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(77) i love you like
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(76) a mechanical 128-bit heart
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(75) what's stopping me from doing "this" at home?
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(74) un papillon souillé
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(73) "a flowering, withering of the heart"
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(72) raise(d) from rubble
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(71) should i stay or should i go
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(70) sweating towards a shared sun
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(69) to "gain", or to "restore"?
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(68) (personal) definitions
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(67) writing when writing eludes you
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(66) time flows differently here
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(65) siamesefightingfish
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(64) jack of no trades
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(63) a meeting at dawn's chorus
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(62) status report, simplified
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(61) thought experiment(ation)
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(60) excavation of the soul
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(59) anatomical reconstruction of the he(art)
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(58) a heart missing missing beats
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(57) excuses, excuses.
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(56) ground of my own making
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(55) the veins within the walls
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(54) i can't seem to smile like her again
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(53) what's in my closet? (pt.2)
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(52) what's in my closet? (pt.1)
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(51) a bubble of one's own
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(50) sick (enough?) of caring so much
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(49) writing towards oblivion
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(48) a cage without substance, of my own making
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(47) tears for... an "ED summer camp"
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(46) a pledge, to (re)start life.
(older) substack posts:
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20/forever_in_vein
"i created a monster, a hell inside my head."
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19/sick_enough
whenami?
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18/returning_visitor
what is this... feeling?
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17/free_journaling_hospital
updates sporadic - readers beware!
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16/memory_leak
a restart is needed.
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15/a_stolen_beat
less than a foot apart.
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14/my_place_and_yours
i want to eat your pancreas.
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13/invoke_ExitProcess,_eax
free((int *)malloc(0)).
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12/system_or_tool
writing when you can't write.
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11/a_soul's_warmth
on seeing, feeling, longing
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10/loving_or_loved
i can't decide.
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09/whats_wrong
my soul becomes increasingly marred from the weight of my every thought.
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08/emotional-algorithm.json
code poetry.
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07/enough?.txt
sometimes there is(n't).
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06/letter_to_AN
a message to an (old) friend(?)...
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05/hope_lost_love_undone
a heart's attempt at poetry
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04/i_am_(not)
what am i doing?
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03/personal_note
death, the mind's refusal to pause, and a struggle for spontaneity
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02/eyes_open
yes, i'm aware that i'm tumbling down a rabbit hole again.
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01/hello_world
a ubiquitous phrase, so full of potential yet simultaneously, so empty.
❄
𓃠
ᓚᘏᗢ
ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
✧˖°.
ฅᨐฅ
❄
𓃠
ᓚᘏᗢ
❄