“You’re so beautiful - I could never throw a bottle of milk at you across the kitchen”
Everyday narcissism in dating
Narcissism, Trauma, Fame and Power
How does narcissism help us understand the links between trauma, fame and leadership? And can we understand the sometimes shocking behaviour of those we choose to be inspired by? I am a clinical psychologist interested in fame and power.
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Judgment in the birth and death of narcissism
The role of judgment in narcissism starts as early as language permits. Implicated in its development is a family culture of judgment. There are harsh words. There is denigration. Shaming. This judgment is aimed at the child and their mind in an unmeasured way. This is the opposite of curiosity, interest and empathy.
Talking with Andrew Sullivan about narcissism, fame and power
Here is the link to Friday’s Weekly Dish episode in which Andrew asks me some difficult questions about narcissism, fame and power, via some of the iconic figures I have been writing about and some that I haven’t.
The military-narcissistic complex
Domination, territory and the inflamed mind: The narcissistic mind, compared with others, makes its presence more felt. The narcissistic mind is loud. Not only loud, but it can also be interesting, creative, intriguing and persuasive. It will get its way. Its influence will begin locally but expand. It will seek a wider audience. It will gain territory. The space for other minds will decrease. It…
Dissociation, denial and the narcissistic perpetrator
This article is not about the health impacts of dissociation. It is about how the narcissistic perpetrator makes use of their own dissociation in order to carry on doing what they are doing. In order to move from the one-off act to the compulsive and prolific. My case study is a famous man. But he is fictional. His name is Dorian Gray and he lives in Victorian London.
You do it to yourself
Sometimes human beings do things to themselves that don’t immediately make sense. Like self-harm or self-sabotage. One of the most common is self-criticism. As part of narcissism, it can be quite a surprising thing to find. But it has hidden parts to play.
Why should I trust you? Narcissism and trust
Watch now (69 mins) | Can I trust Nathalie? Can Nathalie trust me? We explore the area of trust and narcissism.
Fifteen icons: The glamour and the fury
It’s time to take a step back, because I have now explored the lives of 15 icons as part of an experiment here on Substack. This article also is a kind of a personal experiment, to look back at these 15 without reading – to reflect on what I learned and what stands out now in my mind. This can also service as a kind of index of the 15 with links – in case you have arrived here more recently and…
The celebrity sex-offender playbook: Chapters 1-3
Annie Farmer was a victim of Epstein and Maxwell. She was trying to make sense of the experiences of the women involved – experiences of being victimised and also of pursuing justice. Annie made a statement: “It’s not uncommon that people who are predators have come to occupy positions with a lot of prestige or power in some way. I didn’t recognise this as the systemic issue that it was.”
Icon no 15: Sir Winston Churchill (part B)
Yes, for this first son of an English Lord, there was idealisation and specialness. But this came in a context that is also an important part of the narcissism algorithm. It was part of a childhood devoid of parental interest and packed with condemnation.