I am at work, in the post office department of the store. Around the time this story happened, there was an alert from the postal company about how sellers on Amazon would purposely give fake addresses to have items returned, and it instructed us that, when making the mailing labels to send returns out, if an address does not appear, to instruct customers to contact Amazon customer service and explain why.

A customer comes in to send a box for Amazon out. I inform him that he’ll have to pay to send it off. He’s annoyed but decides it can’t be helped and decides to pay for it. I weigh, measure, punch in the type of service he wants, and begin typing in the address given to him… and nothing shows.

No address that closely matches the address the customer was given appears on the system. I pull out my phone to search the address and… yup. The address doesn’t exist at all.

Me: “I apologize, sir, but I am afraid I cannot send out your parcel. The address does not exist.”

Customer: “It doesn’t exist? But that’s what Amazon gave me!”

Me: “Yes, I understand, but when I tried typing in the address, nothing showed up for me. I believe the seller gave the wrong address, so I guess call Amazon customer service and ask them what to do.”

Customer: “I’m not calling them. I already talked to them!”

Me: “You did?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Can you ask them again if the address is right then? Tell them it doesn’t show up.”

The customer pulls out his phone, and while he does, someone lines up behind him. The customer gets my attention and shows me how he did the return process. It turns out he went to the seller’s page to initiate a return. This is how it goes:

Customer: “I need to do a return.”

Seller: *Instantly.* “Sure! What was the problem with our product?”

Customer: “It did not fit my needs.”

Seller: *Instantly.* “Sure! Please send the item back to [Address] and print out this return label. Thank you for shopping with us!” 

Yes, if the dialogue from the Seller didn’t hint at it, the fact that they were responding instantly obviously meant they were not talking to anyone.

Customer: “See? This is what they told me to do!”

Me: “You didn’t talk to anyone.”

Customer: “Yes, I did! I talked to Amazon!”

Me: “You were talking to a chatbot of the sellers. They were responding instantly, which should have been obvious it’s not anyone. And in any event, I told you to call Amazon and ask them what to do.”

Customer: “But I was talking to Amazon!”

Me: “You weren’t. I can give you their customer service number and—”

Customer: “—Just send my parcel out!

Me: *Holds up my phone, which still shows that the address he was given doesn’t exist.* “The address the seller gave isn’t real; how can I?”

Customer: “Just send my parcel out!”

At this point, the one person in line has grown into a line of three. Running out of patience and seeing there’s no way [Customer] is going to see the light anytime soon, I manually typed in the address on the mailing label, printed it out, and affixed it onto [Customer]’s parcel. No sooner has [Customer] finished paying:

Customer: “Can I use the bathroom?

Me: *Looks behind to see the three people in line.* “Sure, I have a line, so I’ll call someone for you.” *Into a radio.* “Can I get someone to the Post Office to let a customer to the bathroom, please?”

Assistant Manager: “Sure, I’ll come. Just tell them to hold on.”

No sooner had I said that, [Customer] suddenly turned and walked away. This catches not only my attention, but the other customers in line.

Me: “Where are you going?!”

Customer: “I need to use the bathroom!”

Me: *Pointing at the counter.* “Wait here! Someone’s coming to take you there!”

Customer: *Looks confused, then walks away.*

Assistant Manager: *Walks out from the back.* “Where’s the customer?”

Me: *Turns to look at the other customers, who are also confused by what they just saw.* “He ran out the second I paged you.”

Assistant Manager: *Joins our looks of confusion.*

I serve the next three customers, who thankfully had smaller and quicker orders, and turn to the Assistant Manager, who is still confused. I give him an abridged version of what happened, and just when he was about to say something, the Shift Supervisor walks by.

Supervisor: “Did you serve some guy who [describes what Customer looks like]?”

Me: “Yeah, what happened?”

Supervisor: “He said you gave him a hard time and wouldn’t let him into the bathroom and then asked if there was any place nearby that had a bathroom. I told him to leave the building and go to the store on the right. He left and went to the bus stop on the left.”

The Assistant Manager and I looked at each other, then back at [Supervisor].

Assistant Manager: “I was going to say he’s never going to get it, but I think that was obvious.”

Supervisor: *Shrugs.* “I really doubt he gets the obvious anyway.”

I got a phone call from a customer yesterday, and the following exchange happened:

Me: “[Store Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I missed the delivery driver. Is my package there? Can I come pick it up?”

Me: “Perhaps. If you enter the tracking number on the website, you’ll be able to see if your package is here.”

If their tracking said the package was here, I would then locate it on the shelf and confirm it’s here.

Customer: “I already did that. It says it’s not there yet.”

Me: *Taking a second to absorb what they had just said.* “Then it’s not here, and you can’t pick it up yet.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

Me: “You’re welcome, and have a good day.” *Hangs up.*

I used to work in customer service at a call center located in the USA. We were a specialty supplier and a market staple, so anyone who needed high-quality material of our product pretty much had to go through us.

We shipped internationally as well as nationally, including US territories and Alaska/Hawaii. We had a shipping deal for the 48 contiguous states that was usually a flat rate and free shipping on orders over a certain dollar amount. 

Unfortunately, that offer didn’t apply to Alaska/Hawaii, and any orders for those locations required the order to be put on hold for a day so our shipping team could calculate the lowest shipping charge. Basically, free shipping to all states but Hawaii and Alaska.

Because I worked evenings, I got most of the calls from either state. Most of the calls were fine, but the ones that weren’t… Alaskan citizens were usually really understanding about shipping times and costs, especially when they lived very rural, after grumbling a bit just to grumble. On the flip side, I got yelled at over Hawaii orders at least every day, always the same argument, to the point I had my counterargument down:

Hawaiian Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t give me free shipping! Hawaii is a STATE, we are a STATE of the UNITED STATES, and I shouldn’t have to pay more for shipping!”

Me: “Sir/ma’am, are you aware our warehouse and offices are located in [State]?”

Hawaiian Customer: “Of course!”

Me: “And did you know that Hawaii is almost half of the distance between [My Location] and Japan?”

Hawaiian Customer: “…”

Me: “This has nothing to do with you not being a state and everything to do with distance and additional manpower and fuel required to get your order to you. Now, I can either place your order on hold if you want to explore other options to purchase your supplies, or I can have our shipping team look into the cheapest options for you and reach out tomorrow?”

Hawaiian Customer: “That’s fine, thank you.”

Reminding them that they lived geographically on an island in the middle of the Pacific, an extraordinary distance from our warehouse wasn’t enough to stop the BUT WE’RE A STATE argument, but for some reason that halfway-to-Japan line worked every time!

I work for a courier. I’m on the call with a customer who was expecting their package today.

Me: “Ma’am, it looks like the package was left with your next-door neighbor, as you weren’t at home. Your instructions on your account said we could do that.”

Customer: “Yes, I know that already. I got the text from you guys.”

Me: “I see. Is there an issue with the delivery?”

Customer: “Yes! When are you going to come back and deliver it to me?!”

Me: “It’s already been delivered, ma’am. It’s with your neighbor right now.”

Customer: “Wait, you expect me to go and knock on my neighbor’s door myself instead of you getting the delivery driver to come back and get it and deliver it to me?!”

Me: “…yes. That is usually what that means.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’re so lazy!” *Click.*

She can’t go to the house next door, but we’re the lazy ones?

I ordered some cases for my wife’s and my tablet before we were heading out of the country, so the toddler wouldn’t break them, as she already tore my wife’s old case because she had trouble holding it. We would have no cell service or Internet for most of the time. Well, sales and rush shipping aside, they didn’t arrive before we left.

We arrived back home fine and finally got Internet, and a stream of emails hit my phone. The order still had not arrived, and the last email said to head to customer service Online chat. I’m ready with facts for battle since it wasn’t an automatic refund.

Me: “Okay, so I ordered the cases, which didn’t arrive on Saturday, the last day in the initial order period. An email shows a delay on Monday. Another email says ‘In transit’ on Tuesday. A third email says the package was lost or is undeliverable. A fourth email said to contact customer support. So, how to get the order processed or refunded?”

Agent: “I’m sorry for the errors in shipping and the delays. It looks like the order was lost by the carrier.”

Me: “Okay, will a replacement be sent?”

Agent: “We cannot send a direct replacement. You can be refunded. I am processing that now.”

Me: “Okay, so does that mean I need to order it again?”

Agent: “Yes, and they are on a flash sale matching your previous purchase price, free expedited shipping.”

Me: “Okay.”

I was annoyed, but was busy arranging nightmare transportation home for my wife’s family as well. My phone dings again.

Agent: “On a personal note, I just started my shift, and you have been the politest customer of the day so far, thank you.”

Message: “Agent has ended the chat.”

I was annoyed to start with, and often people tell me my bluntness just the facts style is rude, so I was not expecting that message. Was the agent’s day a non-stop every customer a NAR story?