Is Half of You Actually Missing...?

I’ve been taking a delicious break in France, hence the lack of newsletters for a few weeks. But whilst day-to-day work has been put on hold, I’ve been creating without even trying. Because whaddya know, I’ve only accidentally had a big personal shift that’s been a game changer AND spawned an exciting new way to support my clients. Let me explain…

I’ve been finding corrupted masculine energy hugely confronting and enraging recently. It’s everywhere right now. Cynical global conflicts driven by unscrupulous figureheads and their manipulation of power and resources. Then there’s the steady stream of dark revelations about predatory networks of men abusing women - sometimes those who are closest to them. So far, so very WTAF!?

For many of us doing the deep work of empowering ourselves, all this can naturally deepen the belief that the answer lies in the feminine. In nurturing, expanding and reclaiming all those qualities - creativity, intuition, collaboration, flow - that have been sidelined and undervalued for way too long.

And whilst all this is true, I’ve come to understand this past week how empowering women to counter the corrupt masculine that’s coming to an ever-uglier head requires more than just strengthening the feminine. Bottom line: we cannot heal the corrupted masculine out there without healing the corrupted masculine in here, inside ourselves. In all of us - women included.

Because until we do, all the empowerment work we do via the feminine - as vital and necessary as it is - will hit a wall.

How do I know? Because I just hit mine.

For some time now, things have been genuinely expanding for me. I’ve been building momentum and increasingly making intuition-based decisions. There’s been a growing sense of flow and alignment. Of the universe being on my side and feeling more truly myself in my work and my life. It’s been hugely exhilarating.

And yet underneath all that expansion, something uncomfortable has also been building. A creeping overwhelm that’s confused me. How can I be having all this vision, energy, and creativity - whilst simultaneously struggling to make clear decisions and marshal my ideas and plans in tangible ways?

It came to a head on holiday this past week in a long, honest conversation with my husband. Something I’d been circling for months finally came into focus. What had been wreaking havoc wasn’t a problem with my vision, or my energy, or my creativity. It was an imbalance I hadn’t seen - and once identified, it made complete and immediate sense.

Basically, I’ve been so caught up in empowering my feminine and supporting it into its fullest expression, I’ve completely overlooked my masculine and how it needed a serious upgrade too.

I’d been guilty, basically, of conflating my empowerment as a woman with a near-total focus on the feminine. And whilst I arguably should know better - this blindspot has afforded me the opportunity to both experience that mismatch in it’s powerful reality - and create a focused solution to support you into your masculine-feminine equilibrium too (see below).

For context, it’s generally accepted these days that we are all - regardless of gender - made up of both masculine and feminine. Specific interpretations differ: from Judith Butler’s Performativity, to Jung’s “Anima/animus” and the metaphysical concepts of Yin-Yang. They all, however, overlap in their understanding of the feminine being ‘communal’ and involving qualities such as creativity, intuition and collaboration; and the masculine being ‘agentic’ and encapsulating structure and the capacity for focused and assertive action.

The masculine, therefore, supports our beautiful feminine expansiveness (remember - that’s the case whatever your gender) to become real and impactful in the world. Without a healthy masculine, our feminine has nowhere solid to land - and no container strong enough to hold its glory and bring it to fruition.

I’ve known that my default masculine has been a corrupted one - shaped by family dynamics, years of navigating spaces where power was wielded badly, and experiences that left me mistrustful of structure and unable to operate confidently within it. What I hadn’t grasped was the consequence of neglecting to address that whilst powering up my feminine. Not only was my corrupted masculine, I now see, thwarting so much of my potential for years - but it was far too small a container for a newly expanded feminine. Unable to hold or support it, my corrupted masculine cracked, basically - and I did too.

Yet the moment I understood that my neglect of the masculine whilst bolstering my feminine had unbalanced me, I felt genuine, physical relief. Suddenly I knew exactly what the work was.

So let me ask you something - not about your feminine, which I suspect you’re already paying attention to - but about your masculine.

What do you understand of it? Is it supporting your feminine in the way it needs? Is it getting the attention it needs? Or, has it been quietly neglected while all your personal growth has been focused elsewhere?

Here are three signs that your masculine might need an upgrade:

1. You’re doing the work, expanding your sense of self, reconnecting with your creativity and your voice, yet somehow you still feel stuck. Your decision making feels muddled and you’re struggling to take effective action.

2. You’re creating but it’s falling flat, or your projects are not having the impact or producing the results you know they could. The sense of fulfilment or inner peace that you know should be possible feels eternally out of reach.

3. You’re feeling excitement around increased possibility and expansion - but also increasing overwhelm about how to move forwards.

Things like this point to your masculine. Which was a big surprise for me and might be for you too. It seems logical to think that this points to our feminine needing more work. But the masculine so many of us have by default isn’t the divine grounded, clear, self-supportive energy we need for these exciting visions. It’s a corrupted masculine - inherited from our family lines, from the institutions and cultures we were shaped by. From a world in which healthy masculine energy has been in short supply for a very long time.

But as my dear friend Nadine said when I shared what I was writing about this week: “We keep asking men to tap into their feminine – but we need women to develop a healthy masculine too”.

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And understandably, having overwhelmingly experienced the corrupted version, many of us - women especially - have turned away from the masculine altogether. It’s looked like a bad energy and way of being that only causes harm and destruction. But we’ve been throwing the baby out with the bathwater. We’ve lost half of our selves, which - ironically - has kept us still playing small and enabled the corrupt version to continue on its rampage unabated.

So this is why we cannot simply build up the feminine and hope that’s enough. Without an equivalent, healthy masculine to hold and direct all that expansion, we set ourselves up for overwhelm, frustration, and an inability to make our gifts real and visible in the world.

Indeed, my experience of this this past week has reminded me that whilst empowering women (and men!) involves the important work of building up the downtrodden feminine - it also requires us to realign and heal the corrupted masculine so many of us carry.

Perhaps that feels depressing. Like more ‘work’ to be taken on. But this is actually the work that can make the biggest difference. Because when we heal the corrupted masculine within and shine a divine version out into the world to others, we become part of a very real recalibration that empowers not only ourselves, but the wider world.

Trust me: enabling this shift within ourselves is a very real part of creating wider cultural and societal change. We individuals represent a powerful microcosm of the macrocosm - even if it sometimes doesn’t feel like it!

If that’s struck a chord but you’re wondering, “But how precisely DO I level up my masculine, Wendy?” Well that’s what I’ve been creating this past week. I’ve been bringing together my own insights from experiencing my own disharmony, and rebalancing it with reputable teachings on the interplay of masculine and feminine.

I’ve created a powerful one-hour session - the Masculine Rebalance. It diagnoses your feminine/masculine disharmony so you can see where your sticking points are and how they’re showing up.

You leave with a clear plan for levelling-up your masculine so you can step into its energy and power and finally bring your feminine brilliance into being.

For many, this is the key that unlocks procrastination, hesitancy and overwhelm

The full price for this session will be £79 (incl. VAT), but for a limited time I’m offering a few sessions of the Masculine Rebalance for FREE.

Be the change you want to see in the world - and experience the peace that comes with turning back to the divine masculine.

Hit reply, or email me at wendy@wendylloyd.com for more details.

If you’re a regular reader of this newsletter - or you’ve come across any of my film reviews over the decades - you’ll know that I get a right bee in my bonnet about movies with female protagonists that are underrated by both critics, and aggregator sites. And when I find one - boy do I want to shout about it!

This week’s recommendation is one such film - though I’ve just noticed that its IMDB rating has gone up to 6.8 from about 6.1 since we watched it last week. Clearly others want to celebrate director Johanna Runevad’s Je m’appelle Agneta now that it’s streaming on Netflix, and I urge you to do the same.

It’s such a great premise and so efficiently set up over the opening titles. 49 year old Agneta finds herself with an empty nest, a puritanical husband, and no job. She dreams of spending time in France eating cheese and baguettes (forbidden food as far as her ‘conservative’ hubby is concerned). So, when she lands an au pair job in Provence, she packs her bags and, despite her fear of travelling alone, heads off on an adventure.

Of course, she gets far more than she’s bargained for. The story becomes a magical, funny and at times beautifully moving voyage of discovery for our brave heroine, as she learns to love herself, her body - and life anew.

It’s sex positive, body positive and age positive in ways that still feel so novel and rare - and it will have you laughing out loud as you cheer dear Agneta - and her senior charge - on. And if that sounds a bit cryptic, well: you’ll just have to watch it to find out what I mean… Glorious, utterly glorious.

And yes - it definitely inspired me to take Agneta’s lead and indulge in sumptuous french bread and cheese more than I even usually would. When in France, as they (kind of) say…

That’s it for now - but if you’re enjoying my newsletter - please hit the “like” button - and forward to anyone who might be interested (just hit share button below).

It takes a lot of work putting these out - but feeling the love, and building my readership makes it all worthwhile. Thank you.

In the meantime, keep on reaching for your best self, and reaching out to those who might help you.

Because Drama belongs in the movies, not in your life.

Until next time,

Wendy