Last time I wrote about something that’d been unwittingly derailing me - and, I suspect, many of you too. To recap, I realised (via an intense identity crisis that wasn’t much fun!) that I’d assumed my potential as a woman to be entirely wrapped up in my feminine. I know I know: that’s nonsense. But my unconscious had concluded: who needs the masculine, right, when it’s doing what it’s doing in the world?
So there I was: expanding and empowering my feminine - my creativity, intuition, flow. Problem was, my unconscious decision to reject everything masculine means I’d ended up lopsided. I’d expanded and created - and got overwhelmed by the logjam of stuff not moving forward. A moment of calm (after a storm of intense confusion) had me suddenly realise that denying my brilliant masculine meant being without the structures, focus, and directed follow-through needed to make all my feminine flow real in the world. Doh! Without it, I was basically sitting in a sea of exciting ideas with no real means of bringing them to shore. And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.
Since then, many readers have been asking the same question: okay, but how do I actually bring in my divine masculine? (Or whatever name you want to give your non-corrupt masculine). Where do I even start? Which is a great question. Because understanding the imbalance is the breakthrough, but the how - the practical, felt, real-world shift - is where it gets truly exciting.
For me, it happened faster than I expected - and it started with a timer…
I’ve known of the Pomodoro for a long time. It’s where you do 25 minutes of focused work, followed by a 5 minute break, then you repeat. I’d filed it away as something I could see made sense, but somehow I resisted. Then I joined a co-working group where we work through three back-to-back Pomodoro sessions together - and after our first meeting something clicked that no amount of understanding its rationale had managed to do.
Last week was the most productive week I’ve had in forever. Creative AND productive. Tasks completed, less time at the computer, with more actually done. I didn’t get pulled into other tabs, didn’t drift into emails, didn’t find myself mysteriously on Instagram… Because there’s something powerfully psychological that happens the moment you click a timer. I felt myself totally present and in it. I was - and am - utterly focused. And 25 minutes, it turns out, goes by astonishingly quickly when you’re genuinely in flow!
Which leads to the next shift - discernment. Once you know how fast 25 minutes moves, you become very selective about what deserves a Pomodoro slot. I’ve started prioritising ruthlessly. And perhaps most powerfully of all, I started shutting out perfectionism. Because when you’ve got 25 minutes and a task to complete, there’s no room for endlessly rewriting and second-guessing every possibility. Good enough? Done, and out there. And since so much of what I do - newsletters, coaching offers, emails - is iterative anyway, there’s no point agonising over it upfront. Get it made. Get it out. Refine as you go.
I’ve been joking with people this week that it only took me until I was in my fifties to finally learn how to use my time wisely. But this isn’t just about productivity. It created the conditions for my divine masculine to finally come online. Structure, focus, follow-through, the ability to take all that expansive feminine energy and actually make it real, this technique is a container for the change I, and perhaps you, need. It’s basically given me a felt sense of what it means to work with myself rather than against myself.
And yes, I wrote this newsletter in a series of Pomodoro sessions - in less time than usual…
My reflexologist put it perfectly when last week she said, unprompted, after our session that “it felt like a river was flowing down my spine”. The same morning my chiropractor said that it was the best adjustment he’d ever done on me (I’ve been seeing him for 15 years). Neither comment surprised me. Because the body knows. The river IS now flowing. And I have never felt more in harmony with myself and my life.
Of course, your time management skills might already be on point. This was just my story of experiencing my lack of balance, the shift that I discovered was needed, and the tool that started bedding it in. Your imbalance might be a very different story - but starting from this beautifully simple place of masculine and feminine energies within us is a great way assess and make shifts where needed.
If you’re wondering whether your feminine and masculine might need fine-tuning into harmony, then why not reach out for a Masculine Rebalance session? I’m trialling them currently for FREE, before launching them as paid one-hour sessions at £79.
If you’d like to know more - scroll below for more information. Or hit reply with any questions and I’ll tell you more.
Because many of us have rejected the masculine wholesale for understandable reasons (guilty as charged!) - but when we invite our best and brilliant masculine back in, life can really start coming together….
If you want a masterclass in divine masculine energy - and you’d like it delivered with warmth, wit, and a few tears - I cannot recommend this Netflix documentary about Martin Short highly enough.
I’ll be honest: it wasn’t what I expected. I’d previously found Martin Short a bit too confident (ha, I now know of course now what that said about me!) What unfolds is the inspirational and touching story of a man who’s worked joyfully and consistently for five decades, navigated profound personal loss with extraordinary grace, and never once seemed to lose his footing. Central to it al has been his definition of success. Not box office numbers or critical acclaim, but: was it a blast to make? Did I meet great people? Did I feel creatively alive?
Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks, the late great Catherine O’Hara and a host of others speak about Martin with a kind of reverence that has nothing to do with his CV and everything to do with who he is as a human being. Someone in the film says he’s just really, really good at negotiating life. And I thought - yes. That’s it exactly.
He might not be the conventional archetype of masculinity: he’s not tall, not imposing, and doesn’t perform physical strength. But that, for me, makes him all the more powerful an example of what the divine masculine actually looks like in a life fully lived.
I was so inspired by his geniously simple take on life: prioritise joy, don’t dwell on what was or might have been, be there for those you love, and carry them with you whether they are here or gone. He’s the perfect antidote to manosphere posturing.
As Marty models so beautifully - it’s not what happens to you in life, but how you respond to it that matters.
Watch it. You might find yourself quietly refining your own life, Marty style.
If this, and last week’s, newsletter has got you wondering about how well your masculine and feminine are working together - and whether a closer look might unlock all that’s been feeling sticky, then I’ve got something for you…and it’s FREE!
Because I can’t stress it enough - it’s totally understandable that many of us have skewed relationships to the masculine. Nonetheless: as so without, so within. The masculine we reject on the outside can become the masculine we starve ourselves of on the inside. Or, we unconsciously perpetuate a corrupt masculine - because we were perhaps raised in, or have worked for a long time within, and it’s overbearing influence.
Bottom line: without a healthy, divine masculine - i.e. the grounded, structured, action-taking energy that makes things fully function - all the beautiful feminine expansion in the world struggles to find its way out into the world where it belongs.
We need it now more than ever. And I couldn’t have drawn that connection before my own shift. Now I can’t unsee it.
A simple way to look at it is this: whatever your gender, you carry both masculine and feminine energies within you. The feminine includes our creativity, our intuition, our flow and expansiveness. The masculine speaks to structure, focus, and our capacity to take action and follow through. We need both, in balance, working together.
The problem is that most of us have never stopped to diagnose where we actually are. But if you do - perhaps some of this resonates…
Are you overflowing with creativity and ideas, but struggling to put them out into the world?
Or - you may have a thriving feminine and an undernourished masculine: are you stuck in rigid routines and structures, unable to expand into new possibilities?
You may still be running a corrupted masculine inherited from years in corporate environments — and your feminine is gasping for air.
Or perhaps it’s a combination of both.
This is exactly what I can help you realign.
My Masculine Rebalance is a focused one-to-one session in which we diagnose where you are - what’s flowing, what’s blocked, and where the imbalance lies between your masculine and feminine. From there, we’ll establish precisely what you need to work on and how, so you can come into alignment and finally make the headway you’ve been struggling with.
It changed everything for me. I’m still buzzing with it. And I’d love to help you experience that same shift.
For a limited time, I’m offering a few sessions completely FREE of charge — after which they’ll be £79.
Hit reply - or email wendy@wendylloyd.com, and I can answer any questions - and book you in!
Let’s get you balanced and functioning at your best.
That’s it for now - but if you’re enjoying my newsletter - please hit the “like” button - and forward to anyone who might be interested (just hit share button below).
It takes a lot of work putting these out - but feeling the love, and building my readership makes it all worthwhile. Thank you.
In the meantime, keep on reaching for your best self, and reaching out to those who might help you.
Because Drama belongs in the movies, not in your life.
Until next time,
Wendy
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