I’ve been having a crappy week.
It started Monday morning: lethargy, anger, impatience, sadness.
And while I can use my own tools to identify the feelings, it’s hard for me to figure out where they are coming from — probably because it’s a lot of things.
My parents’ health. Still feeling exhausted from the book launch. The list of things to do at work and home that never gets shorter. Real disgust for social media right now.
And sadness from my uncle’s death back in December.
I have not been coping with it well. I’ve been short with my husband and my parents, getting through tasks with whatever effort I can muster, but not my best.I hate asking for help.
I’ve taught myself over time to do it — but it still takes me a few days to remember (better than not doing it at all, which is how I used to be). And as I write this, I’m realizing that even if I don’t know the root cause, I should share what’s going on with my colleagues and family.
And all I have to say is:
“I’m struggling this week.”
Everyone always has empathy and grace when I do that.
So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to use the tools I teach, and write down my feelings, interests, and needs. But I also want to acknowledge how HARD that is to do when we are in a difficult spot.
“Just naming a negative feeling can help you get it under control, rather than letting it control you.”
— FROM CHAPTER 2 OF NEVER SETTLE
Why “Never Settle”?
People ask me about the title, and my reason changes day to day. Today, it’s that I shouldn’t settle for harsh words between me and the people I care about, or for lackluster work. I can give myself grace and time to get through it. And I know that I can get through it — and so can you.
If you can muster up the 5 minutes to take one step in the right direction, the rest tends to follow — even when that step is just saying out loud that you’re struggling.
So this week’s message is really to say I understand the work can be hard, and I’m there with you right now. But I also know we can change things, improve them, even through the smallest step of sharing that current state.
One thing, if you find yourself in this space:
1Be kind to yourself.2Name what you are feeling.3Identify one small step you can take toward feeling more like yourself.
I’m rooting for you. And for myself.
— Attia
P.S. If you need help finding the words to share where you are, my Ask Attia chat can help — sometimes we just need the first sentence or two.
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