I’m in a tabletop roleplaying group with three other people; the DM (Dungeon Master) and another guy are old friends of mine, while the third one is a newcomer to the group. 

The DM is having a big birthday party and invites all of us; [Old Friend’s Fiancée] and his sister are also friends of the DM’s, so they’re invited too. [Old Friend], [Fiancée], and [Sister] arrive together.

Every time [Newcomer] is in Fiancée’s orbit, whether [Old Friend] is there or not, he starts flirting with her. He’s not being aggressive or rude, but he’s clearly trying to impress her. She’s a very polite person, and I think [Old Friend] finds it more funny than anything, so neither of them shuts him down entirely, but I’m baffled at why this guy thinks he has a shot with a woman who’s engaged, especially right in front of her partner.

Finally, he and I are in the kitchen with no one else around.

Me: “Dude, why do you keep hitting on [Fiancée]?”

Newcomer: “What? I’m not!”

Me: “Yes, you are.”

Newcomer: “I’ve barely talked to [Fiancée].”

Me: “You’ve been talking to her non-stop!”

Newcomer: “No, I’ve been talking to [Sister].”

Me: “…the one wearing the green shirt?”

Newcomer: “Yeah, of course.”

Me: “[Newcomer]. That is not [Sister]. That is [Fiancée].”

Newcomer: “What? No way!”

Now, at this point, if he’d said the confusion was because [Old Friend] and [Fiancée] look more alike (both have blue eyes and dark hair, while [Sister] has hazel eyes and dyes her hair red), or even just that he’d just gotten them mixed up when they came in together, I would chalk it up to a humourous misunderstanding. Instead, he comes out with:

Newcomer: “But she’s really hot! I assumed she was his sister and the other one was his fiancée because there’s no way he could pull someone like her. [Sister] is definitely more in his league.”

Me: “…Are you saying he should be marrying his sister?”

Newcomer: “No, just that it would make more sense for him to be with someone with looks like hers, you know, not a pretty girl.”

Bear in mind, this guy isn’t exactly winning any beauty contests himself, and as should be obvious, he’s not oozing with charm, either. It’s one thing to have an opinion about someone’s looks, and another to just casually say that you think two people are unattractive and thus unworthy of being with an attractive person. 

Unsurprisingly, more unappealing things about him came out over time, and he was not invited to play in our next campaign or to any more parties.

The last name in the story has been changed for privacy. 

I worked with one of my boyfriend’s cousins over the time we were engaged, and for a bit after we were married. She’s not a terrible person, but she has overly strong family ties that border on creepy, in my opinion, but then some families are closer-knit than mine. 

At one of my bridal showers, we were discussing doing an outing as ladies in the next few weeks, and I mentioned how I would need to get off work. Usually, we could not be off at the same time, so she said:

Cousin-In-Law: “Well, since I am a true Wilson, I should be the one allowed to get off work for this because it’s my family.”

No one blinked an eye. My mother was rightfully horrified that someone would say this to my face and was about to throw hands until I told her:

Me: “It’s happened before and being quiet is the best way to deal with it.”

This statement was made multiple times over the course of our engagement, where she informed me I would “never be a true Wilson”. One day I snapped and looked her dead in the eyes after she said it and stated:

Me: “Well, at least my children that I birth will be true Wilsons; yours won’t.”

I have never heard her say I’m not a true Wilson again.

My fiancé and I don’t really like large groups of people. We both work in retail, and by the time we get home, we are peopled out and need a break.

Two years ago, I told him, “If you find any spiders in the house or I spot any, I need you to kill them. I’m allergic.” I am also TERRIFIED of them. Fast forward two years. I walk in and am swollen from head to toe with red splotches all over.

Fiancé: “What the heck happened to you?!”

Me: “I got bit by a spider in my sleep.”

Fiancé: “And THAT happened?!”

Me: “Uh, yeah. I told you I am allergic, remember?”

Fiancé: “Well… yeah… but I thought you meant ‘allergic’ like I am to people!”

I used to work at an engagement ring store. A woman and her fiancé came in, and her ring was mangled. They told us this amazing story of how she slammed her hand in a car door, and the ring was the only thing that kept her finger from breaking.

We repaired the ring for free and even got her an updated band style.

She came on her own a week later to pick up the new ring.

Me: “Wow, it’s so amazing the ring saved your finger!”

Customer: *Completely deadpan.* “Yeah, I lied. I hated the design my fiancé picked out, so I smashed that thing with a hammer.”

A young man comes into the store with his parents.

Customer: “I’m here to find an engagement ring for my fiancée, well, hopefully my fiancée.”

Customer’s Mum: “I’m here to make sure he picks something that she’s actually going to like.”

Customer’s Dad: *Grumpily.* “I’m here to make sure either of them stays on budget!”

I awkwardly laugh it off and show them our selection. They spend half an hour ooh-ing and aah-ing and settle on a few options.

Customer’s Mum: “So how much are these?”

Me: “This one in this setting is [price].”

Customer’s Dad: “Jesus Christ! How much?!”

Customer: “Dad, that’s the standard price for this kind of ring these days.”

Customer’s Dad: “What does it do for that price? Rule them all, find them, bring them all, and bind them?!”

The dad’s outburst reminded the mum to ask about engraving.