Hopefulness

I’m sitting in a cafe in the middle of Takapuna, Auckland, New Zealand and I’m surrounded by people from all walks of life. I’m taking some time today to get admin done, I’m wondering what the future will bring, what mahi I will do next and reflecting on the past few days.

Last week Aperahama was sick with gastro (which Ethan and I both caught) and I’ve not been myself. It’s been one thing after another and I’ve been so annoyed at myself for not finishing things, or starting others. This new-found guilt has been incredibly crippling. Guilt that the house is untidy, that I can’t be 100% energetic or that I’ve missed things, not caught up with people. It’s this never-ending cycle of playing catch up, running on a mouse wheel.

So to stop in amongst the chaos that has been my life for sometime, and take some time out, has been the best thing for me today. It’s taken me a while to understand that I need this for me. I need this to assess and review. It’s a small period of time in the day that doesn’t need to be filled with hui or noise. And it’s actually made me feel hopeful again.

I can’t help but wonder, maybe this is what successful people do, they ignore the overwhelm and the guilt and just take an hour to reset? Alone? Surely they do. And I feel like this is a practice I want to continue.

If you’re feeling a bit like me today, maybe it’s time for a reset? Today reminded me that we all need this sometimes. x