Until later, my child.

It is the summer of 2026. My only daughter has turned eighteen in spite of me being her father. I have not been a bad father in the way bad fathers go. No, I have been a good father by all modern standards except in terms of fashion. I wasn’t always as well sorted out as I am today, and I’ll save you details, but it basically took a miracle to turn my life around. I’ve never been a bad man or a criminal. I was not all there. Her arrival into this world meant I had to go find what was missing and quickly. Luckily I did, though I never found a sense of fashion.

Getting ready to go to college is not an easy thing. There’s been an endless amount of Amazon deliveries arriving at all hours. As if the environment were being sacrificed in exchange for all things made in China. This going to college thing is a very confusing part of life. You spend all your life living with your parents, then off you go one day and live off your Harry Potter fantasies by moving into what feels like a less exciting Hogwarts. The only magic you may find comes in the form of mushrooms.

The hardest part, for me at least, has been saying goodbye to having a little girl. My highly concentrated levels of immaturity meant we always had the most fun daily adventures. Step number one was leaving my wife, her mother, home. She is a teacher, and like all teachers, lacked the immaturity and imagination required. Step number two was getting dressed with whatever we had lying around. There is no time for fashion when adventure awaits. Step three was doing her hair in a pseudo ponytail. Well, more like a frizzled donkey tail. Step four was going outside and figuring out what to do.

Luckily for me, finding things to do was easy because our brains were operating at similar levels. Our adventures usually consisted of going for a drive in my rundown Toyota. A car that had been totaled by my mother-in-law and brought back to life in the same way as Darth Vader. The adventures were never in one specific place. My severe ADHD meant our adventures consisted of many stops. Usually different ones to avoid the monotony people enjoy in the suburbs. The places were the usual suspects: parks, trails, Toys R Us before it was gutted like a car left overnight on the interstate, Chuck E. Cheese’s, cake shops, bakeries, and the pet shop. Each place had its own set of fun activities that were ultra-low-cost. My favorite was the pet shop because I’d tell her we were going to the zoo and see the animals.

As she grew older the adventures happened less often. They still took place, but now included less fun places like coffee shops, shopping malls, and those weird yogurt places. All came to a halt during her senior year of high school. I found myself taking the dog on the little adventures instead. The dog is also very fun to hang out with, but he hasn’t learned to ride a scooter (yet). The places you take dogs to are also quite different. Dog parks are one of those places he loves but I hate. Few restaurants allow dogs, and going to a pet store with a dog is as fun as going to Costco with your wife.

Now, the time to say until later has arrived. We are two days away from move-in day. I’m not sure what I’ll do. I still carry the same childish need to have adventures. Venturing out into the world with my dog is quite fun, but he is not as fond of dolls as my daughter was at a younger age. Yes, I do miss playing with dolls. They’re fun when you put a little imagination into it. I’m planning on taking the dog to the beach, because as a dog, he doesn’t get too many vacation perks from his job. But that’s not the same. I’m hoping to visit the dorms with the dog and then have a little adventure around campus. Maybe we can teach those damn Alpha Sigma Gammas a lesson. I have the right amount of toilet paper and shaving cream in the trunk of my car if needed. Maybe later she’ll fall in love, get married, and have a baby. That would be neat. I can get away with doing so much more as a white-haired grandfather. Oh, the shenanigans that await.

Until later, my girl. Go into the world and give them hell just like I taught you. Never let anyone convince you that your dreams are invalid, that you do not matter. They were wrong about me, and they are wrong about you. Remember our motto: Do the impossible.