When your mind won’t stop refreshing the inbox

Overthinking often shows up in the tiniest of moments - like sending an email or message and feeling the pull to check for a response straight away (and then a hundred times afterwards).

I caught myself doing this today. The moment I pressed send on an email, my mind immediately jumped into imagining reactions and reading between lines that weren’t even written yet.

But a therapist once taught me something that’s relevant here: in acceptance and exposure-based therapies, a small delay can help to loosen the checking habit. Not necessarily a fixed ‘15-minute rule’ - because that can also turn into a ritual - but something gentler.

Pause before you check.

Just for a breath, a moment, a few seconds, or longer if it feels possible.

Give yourself a sliver of space between the urge and the action.

You can still check afterwards if you want to.

This week’s small step: Pause before you check.

If you’d like to understand why this works, here’s a more detailed explanation.