What Dave Learned After 365 Days Without Coffee.

A few months ago, I came across a Reddit post from a guy celebrating one year without coffee. I’d quit coffee myself around the same time, so I stopped to read his post. He mentioned something about believing that his anxiety and racing thoughts were just part of his personality. I used to think the same. I reached out to him and Dave (name changed for privacy) agreed to answer a few questions

'“I had been drinking coffee for over 20 years. Between 5 and 10 cups a day toward the end. I was so dependent that I would wake up exhausted, make a coffee, and drink it lying in bed just to be able to function.”

Not at all. He thought the poor sleep, the intrusive thoughts, the inability to focus were just who he was. “I knew something was wrong,” he says. “I just couldn’t figure out what.”

By not planning it. “I got a bad flu right before Christmas and spent a week bedridden. I used that opportunity to quit cold turkey, and the flu symptoms masked the caffeine withdrawal.”

He’d tried to quit before and knew how brutal that first week could be. This time, he had his window. When the flu cleared up, the withdrawal hit him bad. Dave got night sweats, extreme fatigue, and brain fog. But he didn’t fight it. He took naps when he needed to. “I just let my body recover,” he says.

He doesn’t struggle with motivation or energy anymore. The intrusive thoughts, the mental blabber are gone. “My mind is quiet now,” he says. “I finally feel like a normal person.” He sleeps 7-8 hours and wakes up feeling rested, without the spikes and crashes of caffeine. His ability to concentrate is unlike anything he’s ever experienced. He can do deep work for hours.

“I thought coffee helped me focus, but it was doing the opposite.”

Not really, and he’s a bit skeptical of the whole idea of replacing coffee with another drink. He didn’t want to fight one habit with another.

“The real question is, what do you actually need besides water? Nothing, really.”

Still, he ended up finding two herbal teas at the supermarket that he enjoys in vanilla and apple-cinnamon flavour. “They taste nice, so I drink those throughout the day. And when I am out of them, I just drink water.”

Working out is his first anchor. Once he’s done his workout for the day, he’s calmer and feels more grounded. “It helps me find an outlet for my stress”, he says. He tries not to fight the emotion either. Difficult things come up, as they do for everyone. “I just let the emotion happen. I sit with it. You can’t fight that part.

And then there’s therapy. He sees a therapist every two weeks, and he’s clear that it’s not because his life is falling apart. “I see therapy like going to the gym, something you do regularly so you can handle whatever challenges life throws at you.”

His advice is simple: commit to atleast one month without coffee.

“Nothing magical happened, and yet the gap between who I was (a year ago) and who I am now is enormous.”

A small disclaimer: I haven’t had coffee in over a year, but I still go to coffee shops regularly and order décaf or tea. I love coffee, but it made me jittery and anxious. I love the smell of coffee. I love everything about coffee, honestly. This isn’t a manifesto against coffee. If it works for you, that’s great (I am jealous of you, hahaha). But for Dave and me, quitting made an enormous difference.

Have a system to share?

I’m building a collection of real people’s systems for staying functional and grounded.

If you’ve found a practice that works and want to be featured, reply to this email, I’d love to feature your system in a future edition.

I’m starting a collection project. I’m documenting the systems that keep people grounded, functional, and joyful.