How Sarthak Deals With Anxiety

I’ve known Sarthak for a while, and one thing that always inspired me about him is how calm a person he is….

He is no stranger to anxiety. As an immigrant, he has his fair share of worries like visa rejections, waiting monthss for work approvals, while watching friends get their papers approved. And trust me when I say this, job searching in a foreign country is not for the weak souls.

But he never seems to spiral the way I have seen other people do… So I asked him how he does it…This is what he told me…

When anxiety starts creeping in, the first thing Sarthak does is ask himself: how much is this actually going to matter in 2 years?

Basically, He tries to assess how bad is the situation and for how long it will continue to be bad? He runs the problem forward in time…As in will I still be affected by this problem in one year ? What about in two years? What about in 5 years? and so on…He says that things that feel impactful today, are not as impactful and life changing as you think.

“Even if things fall apart,” he told me, “in two years, I’ll be okay.”

I really admire his confidence and his trust on his ability to stand back tall, no matter what.

Then he goes one step further. He compares his current situation with something genuinely and permanently terrible. He gave me an example of losing a leg and comparing it to your current situation. The point isn’t to dismiss what he’s going through.

He says, let’s say I have an accident tomorrow and I lose a leg. Now compare this with the fact that I havent gotten my visa approved for 6 months now. He says, Yes his visa problem is real. It’s going to cost me months of uncertainty and probably some sleep. But it won’t follow him for the rest of his life the way a permanent (leg) loss would.

Together, these two tricks give his brain an accurate picture of the situation instead of a catastrophised one. The problem doesn’t go away. But it goes back to its actual size.

But sometimes, he says that reframing is not enough. When the situation is too much, too uncertain, Sarthak takes a different approach. He fatigues himself out.

During his worst phases in his school days, he was juggling business school, a full marketing job, and a CMO who piled on work without caring about his workload. He structured his days so tightly that by the time he got to bed, there was genuinely nothing left in the tank. Classes in the morning, calls through lunch, work until 11pm, food ordered in, sleep. “I would not give myself even a single second to overthink. I would make sure I was tired enough by the time I reached bed that my brain was not able to process even a single thought. Before the first thought came by, I was asleep.”

Sarthak started to read during a stressful period, mostly looking for something to occupy his mind. Books on history and politics changed his life in a way he hadn’t expected. An hour would pass without him noticing. He became more patient. He started overthinking less

He’s honest that the effect doesn’t last. “As soon as you put the book aside, those thoughts may come back.” But even temporary relief is relief. And over time, getting absorbed in history and politics gave him more to actually think about, which left less room for spiralling

He also became, according to him, far more argumentative. I can confirm this is true.

Now, with another uncertain time ahead, a new visa approval (why do we have to renew it so often), his sister’s wedding. He’s already planning his next move. He’s decided to focus on fitness. He knows the next few months won’t be easy, and he knows his brain might try to fill this silence with worry and anxiery. So he’s building the structure now, before the anxiety arrives.

I guess this is the same logic as the exhaustion strategy, but with an upgrade. Now, instead of just surviving, Sarthak is using these hard situations to be thriving instead.

What strikes me about Sarthak is that he knows what his mind responds to and he tries for the right technique depending on how the situation is.

Reframe the thought when you can. Exhaust yourself if you can’t reframe the thought.

Sarthak wouldn’t describe himself as particularly disciplined or even particularly strong person. But I think that undersellls it.

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