When You Don’t Know Which Life to Choose

Life feels so uncertain at times, and sometimes in a good way. I got a call last evening about a job in Interior Design, the exact kind I wanted a while back, when I hadn’t started writing. I talked to them, and it kinda felt perfect in a way. I left my previous job like a month back with some savings to keep me afloat for a while.

I had decided that I was gonna go all in for writing and building my coaching platform; doing exactly what I love: write and help people with psychologically backed solutions instead of giving superficial advice that isn’t practical. The business is growing and I am very grateful for that. It is, however, a somewhat unreliable source of income for me at the moment. Since I left my job, some unexpected family expenses have changed the amount of time I can live with financial ambiguity, which means the financial side of this decision needs more attention than I originally expected.

I am at a place where financially it makes sense to take the job (I am talking like I already have a negotiated offer right now, which I don’t). At the same time, I have found such a good rhythm working on my business. I absolutely love it. I live at home. Life is slower. I do a lot of work, but at the same time I am able to focus on my health and the kind of food I am eating. All of which I had neglected when I lived away.

I also think that I have given my undivided attention to my business for only a month now, and I have complete confidence that I can make it successful. The whole thing does come down to the reality of the situation and whether we, as a family, will be able to sustain it if I don’t take the job.

There are a lot of things to consider, obviously. It took a lot of strength to leave stability and build something of my own, and I only did it when I thought I could manage if it didn’t for a while. Life doesn’t always work out the way we hope for it to, though.

I was telling a friend of mine about all of it, and he said that your issue is that you have too many good options. A while back, you were talking about how to make things work, and now you have too many options. It is a good problem to have. And he was right. I do have more options than I had a while back.

A few months ago, I was trying to figure out how to make money from something I was building. Now I’m sitting here trying to decide which of several ways of earning makes the most sense. What is the opportunity cost? (See, I completely understand businessspeak now)

I know I want to keep building this. That part isn’t particularly confusing to me. What’s confusing is deciding how much financial uncertainty I am willing to accept while I do it. So, I am going to give the interview today. And I will just have to see how things turn out.

Who knows, I might get the kind of business I have been wanting in the time that it takes to complete the hiring process, or life might even beautifully surprise me. Even if nothing like that happens and I do have to take the job, I could still work on my business with less stress about my finances.

It’s amazing when I use the frameworks I help people with on myself. The what if to even really does help stop the loop of overthinking.

Going from “What if I have to get the job to even if I get the job” kinda works. And till the hiring is done, I will do everything in my power to get to a better financial place.

This is also the kind of work I do with people. Not telling them what decision to make, but helping them understand the loop that keeps making a situation feel much bigger and scarier than it needs to be.

If there is a loop you keep finding yourself inside, reply to this email with “I think I’m stuck in…” and finish the sentence. I personally read every response and will tell you if I think working together would actually be useful.

If you simply want to support Things We Never Say, you can buy me a coffee here. It doesn’t have to be a lot. Even $1 would genuinely make a difference right now, although if you’d like to contribute more, I’d really appreciate that too.