Ready or not

My inner ramblings of juggling the summer with four children of very different ages and stages

The summer holidays officially start this week and for 6 weeks the children of the UK will be home for summer!

My eldest son actually broke up on Friday, whereas my other sons have an extra two days left, you can imagine the drama that caused!

I admit the summer holidays do cause me some apprehension. Thankfully not as much as the last couple years though. Ive been honest Here about how i found my fourth babies post partum period the hardest one out of the four, and the past few summers have felt very intense. She is three now and i still don’t feel entirely recovered from it, but i am in a much better place than i was.

My biggest worry for the long summer ahead is one I'm finding increasingly more tricky as my children grow. I’m fortunate that i don’t have to worry about childcare anymore because i am a stay at home mother now. That’s a huge weight off! I also don’t worry about not having a jam packed schedule because actually that’s the way we like it. I like to have the odd plan but also plenty of time to be able to wake up and spontaneously decide what to do. I know that will sound insane to some of you planners!

What actually flusters me the most, is a problem i face because i have multiple children.

How do i entertain so many people of so many different ages?

I have a 3 and 5 year old, plus an 11 and 13 year old. The difference in ages and stages is huge.

A trip to the park with a picnic will easily satisfy the smalls. But the bigs naturally want bigger adventures. They will want to go for long bike rides, explore new hikes, go bowling, maybe the cinema, all things i too would like to do. But i struggle to do this with the smalls. The smalls will ask for a trip to the farm, soft play, a sandpit in the garden, easy and simple activities will keep them most entertained. But it will not interest the bigs.

And this daily battle between doing what i think the smalls will enjoy verses what the bigs would like; is the problem i fear most during the summer.

How can i make sure that everybody gets the summer they want?

I am very lucky that my husband will have every weekend off, plus a few days annual leave. My mother lives 5 minutes away, i know she will spend a good chunk of time with us. My sister, my brother, my friends all live close by. I know i will have help and support. But there will still be a lot of time where i am torn between saying yes to the bigs or saying yes to the smalls and someone, at some point will be disappointed.

I know, i know that’s life. We cannot have everything we want and we cannot always do the things we want. My children know this too. But it doesnt make me feel any better about telling the bigs we cant go for a hike today because the smalls wont manage. Or telling the smalls we have to leave the park now because the bigs are bored out of their mind.

Its a juggling act getting the balance right between them all. Sometimes on the weekend my husband and i divide and conquer. I will take the little ones out on a smalls friendly trip while he does something more adventurous with the bigs. That works great! But i cannot split myself in two everyday to achieve this and nor would i want to. My children spending time together is important to me, i want the siblings to enjoy and have fun together. But i’m also aware that 6 weeks on top of each other can sometimes feel like a very long time..

I do try and plan days out i know everyone will enjoy - the beach is my go to for pleasing everyone! But i also know there will be many times where i have to say no to someone, and that’s when the mum guilt sets in, and we all know mum guilt’s a bitch.

Before i had my fourth baby we were a camping family. I adore camping with kids. After my third son was born, i was back camping in a tent by 3 months post partum. We have not camped since my fourth baby was born. I have not felt ready, and this is something that kills me every summer since. This summer i desperately want to camp with all four children. I know every single one of them would enjoy it, and its something i want to do for me too. We already have all the gear, we used to camp regularly. But i still have not booked a trip. And again, i feel guilty for that.

I have been pondering on perhaps making a bucket list for all the children. Maybe getting them to choose 1 or 2 activities they really want to do this summer and then making sure they happen? Perhaps try and use my husbands weekends off to make sure the bigs get some grown up activities that the smalls couldn’t partake in? At the end of the day i am but one women, there will be times when someone is bored, someone wishes they were doing something else and i need to remind myself that that’s ok, that im not ruining my children’s summer because they cannot do everything they want everyday. They will have me and my love and they will also have each other, and i must practice telling mum guilt to jog on!

If anyone reading this faces a similar problem juggling different ages and stages, i would LOVE to hear from you and how you plan to tackle the summer ahead.