Here is a re-slap of this November 2013 classic because some branding disasters are pure comedy gold and should not be locked in an archive. Back then, a carpet-cleaning company called Coit expanded internationally, added “US” to their name, and suddenly their vans, uniforms, and logos all said COITUS. A pastor in Oregon immediately accused them of running a black-van gigolo service who specialized in “deep-cleaning carpets”, and the company’s spokesman (named Dick Voorhire, naturally) refused to spend any more money to fix the oversight.
Thirteen years later, the branding fail still ranks as one of the greatest unintentionally awkward rebrands ever. The original post’s deadpan reporting and double entendres hold up perfectly.
Read the original untouched 2013 roast below (the full name-change story, Pastor Blume’s outrage, and the crevice-tool jokes). Then vote: Should they have changed it back?
Written by Brad Naylor (original post here)
They used to be called Coit Cleaning Services until an expansion project made them an international company. The success of the ‘Man in the shiny black van’ meant that they could afford to expand to Canada and Thailand and clean carpets and drapes in other countries. In order to identify the original domestic portion of the company they added the letters US after their name.
3 weeks after they repainted their entire livery and restitched 1000’s of uniforms with their new logo, Pastor Henry Blume from Salem, Oregon complained to his state representative. Blume claims that their vans clearly say COITUS, a fancy word for sex, and that housewives were hiring these men for something other than deep cleaning their carpet.
“Why else would they drive around in those black vans if they weren’t gigolos? They are doing Satan’s work and they need to be stopped,” claimed Pastor Blume.
CoitUS spokesman, Dick Voorhire rubbished Blume’s accusations that CoitUS was offering any kind of ‘male escort service’. “It is unfortunate that we didn’t get a second opinion before investing 3/4 million dollars in rebranding. We are not about to spend another $750,000 to put everything back the way it was.”
To date, no actual legal action has been taken against CoitUS, even though Pastor Blume has gathered almost 23 signatures on his petition to make CoitUS change their name back to Coit Cleaning Services. We will update this post if there are any significant changes in this story.
Have you ever had your interior serviced by a CoitUS guy? Has the CoitUS guy got deep into your upholstery with his crevice tool? Share your CoitUS story with us below.
No major real-world company ever actually rebranded as “CoitUS” — this was pure Slap the Penguin satire.
Accidental dirty company names and logos continue to amuse the internet every year.
Black vans and “full service” cleaning ads still invite the same jokes.
Dick Voorhire remains the greatest fictional company spokesman name of all time.
Aged like fine upholstery shampoo? Or like a logo that was never meant to be taken seriously?
Inserting sexual innuendo weekly. Follow @slapthepenguin on X for more roasts and daily nonsense. Comment: Worst accidental (or not) dirty company name you’ve ever seen?
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