Dug this August 2013 classic out of the vault because some mix-ups are too perfect to forget. Back then, we “revealed” that the Republican Party had intended to run John McClane (the foul-mouthed, never-say-die New York cop from Die Hard) against Barack Obama in 2008… but a simple paperwork error landed them with John McCain instead. The post walks through the campaign posters that were already printed, the preferred running mate (Sgt. Al Powell and his Twinkies), and the ultimate auto-correct twist that somehow cast McCain in Die Hard 8.
Thirteen years later, the joke still hits hard. McClane remains the ultimate cinematic maverick, and the idea of “Yippee-ki-yay” campaign slogans feels even funnier in hindsight.
Read the original untouched 2013 roast below (the full mix-up story, the misspelled posters, and the Die Hard campaign quotes that never were). Then vote: Would McClane have won?
Written by Brad Naylor (original post here)
The Republican party have announced that they made an error in judgement regarding their choice of candidate for the 2008 Presidential election. The team of John McCain and Sarah Palin were selected to go up against Barack Obama and Joe Biden.
The GOP were looking to place a die-hard pro 2nd amendment tough guy in the race and one name came forward. Unfortunately there was a mix up with the paperwork and John McCain was added as a contender instead of the original favorite, John McClane.
McClane is a New York cop whose marriage is in a constant state of flux. He has been described by many as being a “foul-mouthed, wisecracking, no-nonsense New York cop with an itchy trigger finger and a never-say-die maverick spirit” which is just the kind of person the Republicans were looking for. Then when he get’s re-elected in 2012 he could say something witty like, “How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?” after he beats Obama’s older brother, Simon, to the Oval office.
The Republican Party already had the campaign posters printed and ready to go, and were just waiting on confirmation from McClane as to who his running mate would be for the 2008 Presidential election. At the time Sarah Palin certainly was nowhere on the horizon, with Sgt. Al Powell and his Twinkies fetish in the lead to be vice President.
It was an unfortunate coincidence that lurking in the depths of the Republican party was a senator with the name John McCain, who instantly jumped on the error and started doing TV and radio interviews regarding his (surprise) election campaign. The GOP not wanting to appear foolish endorsed his campaign and even his choice to invite Sarah Palin onto the no-chance express. They even stole the word ‘maverick’ from McClane’s resume and used it constantly.
The rest of this election story is firmly written in the annals of history, however in an almost unbelievable twist, thanks to an auto-correct error, John McCain has been accidentally cast in Die Hard 8 which starts filming in 2014.
Do you think McClane would have won in 2008? What quotes do you think we would have had from John McClane in the election campaign?
John McClane remains a fictional character (though Bruce Willis’s run as the character is legendary).
No Die Hard 8 starring John McCain ever happened.
The “McCain vs McClane” mix-up is pure Slap the Penguin absurdity that still holds up.
Political “what if” scenarios and movie-character-for-president jokes continue to thrive online.
Aged like one of Sgt. Powell’s Twinkies? Or like a Hans Gruber swan dive?
Reviving political nonsense weekly. Follow @slapthepenguin on X for more roasts and daily nonsense. Comment: What would McClane’s best campaign slogan have been?
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