“The only way to fail at anything is to stop trying” — MelRose Michaels
Silence, when it’s really loud, can feel really personal. I’m talking about the silence of a fan going quiet when you keep checking your DMs, and all you hear are crickets. Instead of taking the silence as a natural business cycle, your nervous system reads it as danger or rejection, and that starts messing with your head.
When I was new to this industry, the silence of a fan felt like rejection, especially when I was firm about my boundaries, and they disappeared. I’ve had moments where I’ve questioned my worth, where I wondered if what I was doing was “good enough”, and asking if any of this mattered.
After 14+ years in the adult industry, my nervous system still feels it sometimes.
Here is where rejection feels personal for me right now..
SWCEO doesn’t partner with many companies, and that’s because I am extremely intentional with the sponsorships we do bring on. So, when a company reaches out to for a sponsorship opportunity but in practice they don’t understand the value this SWer lead company brings, it still feels like failure to me (even though I hate to admit it). My nervous system feels this perpetual fear of not being good enough, or taken seriously enough, despite the evidence I have to the contrary. The same happens on the fans side, when they believe my content isn’t worth what I have it priced at, but my decade plus of these types of interactions, have taught me something I often forget. Something these interactions remind me of, and a lesson that applies to every other area of my life as well.
Here’s the lesson I’ve learned with fans and the feeling of rejection…
Fans go quiet for the same reason my friend’s go quiet… life happens. Whether that’s financial stress, major life changes (sick parents, career shifts, divorce etc), or simply because they are training for a fkn marathon. We are all going through different seasons in our lives, and our fans aren’t any different. I have fans who have been around for over 10 years, fans who were there in my early cam days and migrated with me across every platform as the era of adult has shifted and changed. Given, they haven’t been around for every single month of every single year, but they are a great example of fans who will go quiet for a long time, yet they keep coming back… and I know why…
because I am always reaching out.
When I was a smaller creator, and I didn’t have a huge audience, it was easy to reach out to everyone. As I grew and scaled to where I am now, I leverage software and tools to assist me in this process. Scheduling mass messages is something all of us have access to. But the point is, I’m still reaching out. I never take a fans silence personally anymore, because it’s simply not. And for me, persistence is key. You only fail, when you give up, and I don’t consider that a viable option.
Last quarter, I ran a test on 100 silent fans. I sent 5 specific messages that were built around warmth instead of desperation, and honestly, a little bit of nerve… I have learned that discomfort is not a reason to stay quiet. 52% of those silent fans I messaged, responded, and 30% re-subscribed. I made over $4k in revenue from people who already knew, liked, and trusted me, but just needed to be reminded that what they chose is still here. I was not chasing, I was reminding.
I built a system because I got tired of letting silence win, and then the data proved it was the right call to make. I share the full system, and all 5 messages with exact scripts and data behind each one, inside CEO Society. If you’re sitting with crickets in your DMs, I would start here.
but here is what I actually want you to hear today, and it goes beyond the scripts…
Silence is not rejection, and rejection is not a verdict on your worth. I am not just writing this as a reminder for you, but as a reminder for me too. It doesn’t matter if it’s form a fan who went quiet or from a sponsorship deal that fell through. In every domain in my life, in this business and every business I have built because of it, the only way I have actually failed is when I stoped trying, and when I stopped reaching out.
Ask yourself one question:
What would change in your business this week if you decided to stop taking silence personally?
left on read,
MelRose
PS: If this post reminded you of a thread you have been avoiding, go send the message. And if you need the exact words, they are waiting for you inside CEO Society
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