We were talking about business and she accidentally described my entire year

Last month at XBIZ Miami, I sat down with Sara Loverays for a conversation that ended up going somewhere I did not expect…

Sara is a six year Chaturbate veteran, an educator, a former doctor of physical therapy and one of the most grounded people I have met in this industry.. we were deep into a conversation about the future, about what comes next, about how she navigates building a business while staying connected to herself, and she said she was just riding the organic wave..

and I noticed my internal resistance..

because for 14+ years, riding the wave was not something I did lol I actually paddled upstream, HARD. I also chased external validation like it was oxygen, and for a long time I genuinely believed that if something was not working, the answer was always more..

the full interview drops on Friday, so I won’t spoil it, but today I want to sit with the thoughts I did not say out loud in the interview..

the last few months have humbled me in specific ways.. there were opportunities I wanted badly that did not land, and every single one of them bruised my ego a little, which, you know, is not a small thing to admit lol

but here is what I have noticed on the other side of every NO.. something better showed up.. and then when I look at my vision board, I see how many of those things are quietly, steadily becoming real

I also want to be honest about something else that has shifted for me, because I think it is relevant and I do not talk about it enough..

after being properly diagnosed with ADHD (and finally understanding my own brain), I started learning to listen to my energy in a way I never had before..

I used to run on a schedule that had nothing to do with my actual capacity.. or push through the days where everything felt hard and call it discipline.. I used to get sick after EVERY conference, because I would ignore the signals my body was sending me and call it professionalism..

and the worse part was that I would seek external validation for every decision because I did not fully trust my own read on things, and that meant I was constantly outsourcing my direction to other people’s opinions instead of my own instincts..

right now I am in what I can only describe as a “meeting heavy” season.. my calendar is full of conversations, partnerships, strategy sessions, things that do not produce immediate visible output but that I know are building something important for my companies

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Sara mentioned “universe tickles” in our conversation, those small moments where things align just a little too perfectly to be coincidence, where the right conversation happens at the right time, or where a door opens exactly when you stopped forcing it

I am not someone who leads with that language publicly, I am analytical and data driven and I like proof, but I cannot tell you how many “universe tickles” I have experienced in the last few months, specifically when I fkn stopped paddling upstream and started adjusting my sails (trusting my own internal validation)

like I said, the full interview with Sara is up on Friday, but I want you to watch it with fresh eyes (not just as a creator looking for tactics) but as a person who is also figuring out how to stay connected to themselves while building something real in an industry that does not always make that easy…

between now and then, sit with this one question

where in your business are you grinding against something that is not moving, and what would it look like to adjust your sails?

trusting the tickle,
MelRose

P.S. Sara runs loverays.com, a growing hub for sexuality, relationship and industry education. go check it out before Friday so you have context going into the conversation when it drops