Glimmer hunting

Glimmers are probably one of my favourite concepts in psychology and the one that I use most myself in my daily life. This is something I really wanted to share with you; something so small can make a big difference.

As Deb Dana explains, we have a natural tendency to focus on the negatives in life. This constant scanning for threats helps us survive; our nervous systems are trying to keep us alive, not happy. But, we can also learn to actively seek out and tune into the positives in life that are always present too. She calls these glimmers, “micro-moments of regulation that foster feelings of well-being”.

As we lead busy, hectic lives and it can feel impossible to find time for self-care, I wanted to share this with you as an easy, quick and effective, way to take care of yourself a little every day.

Pausing for a moment to feel the sun on my face. Photo credit: husband :)

Hunting for glimmers means that we actively seek out, notice and enjoy these moments, however brief. It could be something simple like noticing a flower coming into blossom or how light catches on the surface of a lake, the warmth of your pet’s fur, laughing at a joke. For me, nature, my family, friends and pet are wonderful sources of glimmers. Sitting outside on a warm, summer evening and feeling the breeze in my hair. Cutting up a juicy, ripe peach and sharing it with my son.

Inviting awareness of these glimmers of pleasure and wellness does not mean that we deny the reality of any challenges or difficulties we are experiencing. Rather, we honour the “both/and”. We can acknowledge those challenges, whilst also noticing these nourishing, delicious, nurturing mini-moments of joy. Little by little, holding space for glimmers helps create greater capacity and resilience, when we are going through difficult times.

Enjoying the spring blossoms in my local park. Photo: Sarah Grosso

If we start to notice the glimmers that are present in our life, we can also learn to really amplify and savour them. Drinking them in so that we feel their goodness more deeply. Even if this is only for a few seconds. Rather than walking past the jasmines in the garden, we can take a brief moment to pause, take a deeper breath in and let the sweet scent envelop us like an aromatic hug.

These moments help us reconnect with our ventral vagal stage, the nervous system state in which we feel safe and connected. They allow us to practice finding our way there; the path slowly becomes more familiar so we can go back there more easily.

As you move through your daily life, what catches your attention? What brings you joy and pleasure?

Can you think of a recent glimmer? If you take a moment to recall this moment, how does it feel? Where do you feel it in your body? If it feels comfortable for you to do so, could you let that feeling grow a little bigger and take up more space, as if blowing air into a balloon?

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I would love you to join me in a daily glimmer hunting practice over on Instagram, where I share my glimmers as a friendly reminder for you to search for your own.

This space is for me to share some reflections on trauma, healing and relationships. If you are curious about this approach and how it might support you, you are welcome to reach out to me for information about my counselling services for individuals and couples.

You may also like to join my workshops, which are inspired by this somatic approach. I’m offering a FREE workshop on Wild Nesting – belonging, resilience and feeling at home – in May. You are welcome to join my mailing list to be the first to find out about the next dates.