Melania shows up at the White House. It’s gross.

Thursday August 20, 2026

Quick one tonight:

More evidence that the regime doesn’t even try to make a coherent argument (as if!) or make sense anymore came this morning from arrogant prick Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. The Washington Post reports that, amidst other dismal economic news like prices growing faster than wages, Walmart today “reported its weakest sales growth since the pandemic recession in 2020.” Well, that’s no bueno. Employment numbers are also grim. Asked for his take on the shitty jobs numbers, Bessent told CNBC that "after the deportations that we've seen and the closing of the border, we don't need to produce as many jobs.” Come. On. What the hell does this even mean???

Taking time out from his insane efforts to manipulate the bond market, Bessent also told reporters that "We've got a spike in oil prices today that I don't really understand.” Damn, our boy really has his finger on the pulse. Someone needs to clue him in about the war, what do you think?

With horrific news on the economy and his idiotic war of choice, Trump, of course, besides blaming everything on Biden, is lashing out at Canada, other allies, imaginary “vandals,” you know the drill. The other day, you’ll recall, he decided to piss away 70 years of a solid and critical alliance with South Korea because (1) he has a man crush on North Korea’s murderous dictator Kim Jong Un and (2) the South Korean president hurt his fee-fees for not going along with his Iran nonsense. Trump subsequently bragged about how he and Kim have been chopping it up on the blower and are scheduling a meet cute.

Well, not so fast as it turns out. The Daily Beast today, citing reporting in the Financial Times, quotes the murderous dictator’s sister and top advisor (Hey look! North Korea’s government works just like ours with the nepo advisors! Cool!) Kim Yo Jong saying Trump’s assertion that he’s talking to her brother is bullshit. HAHAHAHAHAHA She added that Trump’s decision to cut down the military exercises with South Korea is “not even worth commenting on.” The humiliation is so profound, it burns.

And on the ground this afternoon in Washington DC today, finally, after waiting all day, it’s time for the big Melania event to announce her bullshit non-program “Fostering the Future,” which literally zero sentient people on planet earth give a shit about. But boy, do we want to know where Natalie Harp will stand at the event!! Let’s goooooo!!!!

Alas, to the disappointment of every member of the Washington press corps - and of course all of us!!! - Natalie was, for the first time in memory, nowhere to be seen. Hmmmm… Perhaps, considering her history of forcing herself everywhere, she may be tied up somewhere with a gag in her mouth? Just saying.

After Trump stays on the down-low for the day (his official public schedule shows, once again, lots of attending “policy meetings” - insert eye roll permanently into back of head - which surely means he’s doing really important presidenting like watching TV and scheming about how he can use the full force of the US government to f*ck over his political foes) cameras catch him, looking even more pissed off than usual, cutting off Melania as he squeezes through the door out of the White House to get ahead of her (such lovebirds, these two!) and then grabbing her hand in a death grip to put on a show as if they don’t absolutely detest each other. Melanie goes straight to the podium as Trump waddles to the first row in the rose-less Rose Garden.

Melania begins her remarks with: “Good afternoon. I heard you missed me. Here I am.” Ooooohhhhh. The fake wife is trying to be edgy. F her. It doesn’t work. She drones on about her bullshit non-program “Fostering the Future” and how it “elevates America's youth based on merit and talent.”

Forgive us for not even trying to pretend to give a rat’s ass about what this vile bitch – who wore a jacket that read “I really don’t care, do you?” to visit a fetid migrant detention center full of children in Trump 1.0 – has to say about the youth. Until she agrees to step up to the mic and say “Moose and Squirrel must die” (come on, admit it: that shit would be hilarious) I’m out. Trump was too. He oozed out after the event without taking any questions.

Extra Credit:

Because things under this pathetic regime can always get even more nauseating, it turns out the now sadly corrupted leadership of the US Navy is planning, CNN reports, to strip a planned honor from a black sailor who has been hailed from his heroic actions during the attack on Pearl Harbor because he’s, you know, black. Duh.

The honor for the dude named Doris Miller was announced by the Navy during Trump 1.0 while the aircraft carrier was under construction. Sources tell CNN that there have been “internal discussions” about instead naming the ship to honor Trump. No way, right? The story notes that it would be an “unprecedented move” to name an aircraft carrier after a sitting president. What else is new? This is so, so, so tiresome.

Thanks so much for reading and stay safe and healthy everyone!!! Remember we are not the crazy ones!!!