Should I give up work to pursue a dream?

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Dear Philippa,

I would love to have your advice on a dilemma I am facing.

I’m in my forties, I live with my partner, and I am lucky enough to work full time in a job that’s quite well paid. This work has its ups and downs, but I’m good at it, I have a good work-life balance, working from home for much of the time, and I have nice colleagues in many different countries.

My passion though is singing, especially opera. It’s something I have been working on for years with lessons, practice, and courses. It’s difficult, but it brings me real joy. I know I am getting better at it and people tell me I have potential to go further.

To take the singing as far as I can, and have the possibility to sing professionally, I would need to study at a conservatoire for at least two years. If I auditioned and were offered a place, I’d need to leave my job to do this training.

It’s likely I would enjoy those two years and come out of them a better singer. But opera is something that very few people can make into a sustainable career - it’s a competitive world and the work is scarce and poorly paid. So, while I’d be getting better at the thing I love doing most, I’d also be trading a life in which I have security, quality of life, and a hobby I love, for one that is poorer and precarious, with no guarantee that I could simply return to the job I’m doing now.

I could regret it in future if I look back and feel I didn’t do enough to develop the potential I have as a singer. Equally, I could regret it if I make life more difficult and stressful financially in the long term for both myself and my partner, despite knowing the risks.

I can’t tell whether I’m in a delusion and chasing a fantasy, or simply following my instincts to do what I love.

How should I approach this choice?

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