Welcome to BHIF for Friday July 3rd, 2026. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. Joke of the week. You get the picture.
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Lets try this again
3rd times the charm
BHIF readers, listen up. Or at least comb out the ear hair. Halfway across the world in Nagano, Japan, there’s a shvitz that needs our help. In Japan the shvitz is called a SENTO, which sounds more like a box with rice and tuna fish than a place you wanna relax… but anyways, Yoshiko Kodamo’s sento, which has been open 138 years, is about to close.
Yoshiko’s family has kept the boilers running hot for five different Japanese emperors, but it looks like they won’t see a sixth. Heating a sento takes serious oil, up to 2,000 liters a month, and with fuel prices spiking, costs are up 50%. To make it worse, the Japanese government caps what bathhouses can charge at around 500 yen (about $3), because sento’s are classified as public welfare.
So we’re raising money to help keep the bathhouses open. Why? Sometimes you just get the feeling like someone needs your help. And Old Japanese Men are the other OJM.
Click here to donate. Every yen helps keep the water hot for someone’s zayde on the other side of the world
OJM Industries re-created Ottenberg's Bakery merchandise for Mel Ottenberg's father's 80th birthday bash. Looks like it was a hell of a celebration, fellas. All that was missing was a bottle of Stoli and a case of black and whites.
Bob, Dave, & Aaron decided it was time to get trimmed up for the summer. Well, truth to be told, none of them decided , a barber named Justin offered his services at a discount. And who doesn’t like a deal?
Good luck, Justin.
As you can see. Dave had a lot of hair. He wasn’t exactly KEMPT.
Say what you want about Aaron, but he has pretty nice hair. Also, the man owns more shades of Khaki than we knew existed.
→ Complaint of the Week: Our weekly complaint columnist, Leecy Davis is OUTTA COMMISH THIS WEEK (who cares), so the OJM editorial board is tasked with sourcing our own complaint.
People won’t take your shit like they used to. I have some furniture I’m getting rid of. Can’t haul it off to a donation place because - well, many reasons. Anyways, I left it on the corner of my street with a sign “Please Take if you Want it". In the south, it would’ve been gone within an hour… here… it’s been over twenty four hours and no one has touched it. You imbeciles - if you see free shit - you take the free shit. What is wrong with people!
→ Joke of the Week (George burns)
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
→ Wisdom of the Week (Einstein)
Any fool can know. The point is to understand.
→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi
Friday July 3rd
8:12pm: Shabbat begins (conking out)
Sat July 4th
9:20 pm: Shabbat ends (more brisket next time)
Bob’s Midtown Smoke Adventure:
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