Rip-It Good

Recently, I’ve been finding myself going through things, purging things. This is not unusual for me. What is unusual this time is the amount of focus and frequency I find myself tackling the “stuff” I carry. Usually its just one job; a corner of a room, a closet, a desk, or a drawer. This time I’m moving around more; one room, than another room, then the next. I’m choosing a spot of attention and getting to work.

In the past few months, I’ve cleared out books, yarn, kitchen items, clothes, and old paperwork. Last night I started on my project stash.

For at least 10 years, I’ve been working on a “Comfort Fade” cardigan (by Andrea Mowry). The body of the cardigan is all knitted, but I am missing the shawl collar. I can easily try on the “almost done” garment. And there lies the problem…. I think it is way too small. I’ve been working on this so long that I don’t even want to think of walking through the next set of instructions. It has been sitting in the bag for too many years - I’m over it!

A few days ago, a friend of mine told me how she found an old unfinished sweater and decided to unravel it to release the yarn for a different project that she was more excited. As Laurel spoke I thought of this semi-finished cardigan. When I try it on, it seems way too small for my comfort. I know that when I block it (get it wet and shaped) the yarn might relax and it could potentially be too big. But, I’m tired of it. I don’t want to waste any more time on it.

I pulled the sweater from the closet and I started to unravel it. Un-knitting is so much faster than knitting!! Soon it will many baby balls of yarn formed through a process knitters call “frogging” —→ {note: say “rip-it” a few times fast and you’ll understand}.

This is giving me a great sense of relief; letting go of something that no longer gives me joy or inspiration. I’m excited about repurposing the yarn. I’m going to use a different pattern to make a crochet cardigan. I am enthusiastic to start.

The world feels like it is on fire and this process reminds me of things I don’t have control over. I feel hopeless some days. I feel angry other days. I can stamp my feet and demand things be different. Yet, this sweater reminds me that I only have control of certain things. I am responsible for my own happiness and if frogging this sweater brings me joy … I’m doing it! Finding strength within ourselves is the most important thing we can do right now.