Everyday Angels

What if (and this is another big what if) the next step to whatever we need, whenever we need it, is always right in front of us? If we just took away the veils from our eyes to see and the seals from our lips to ask rather than trying to figure it out with our ill-equipped minds, we might find ourselves surrounded by all the help and resources we need. 

I spent a lot of time as a communications trainer travelling round the UK to different venues.  One time sticks in my mind as being particularly challenging. I think I managed to pull off a fairly good swan impression during the training session itself. On the surface it probably looked like I was doing fine but under the water, oh boy. Two weeks before the training, I’d broken my right arm so I was all plastered up and still struggling to negotiate everything with the other (non-dominant) arm. One of the low lights of the train journey from Liverpool to Bristol was getting my arm-cast trapped in the train doors as I got on in Birmingham. I’d  just sprinted across the station to make a connection which would have been challenging time-wise for a panther, trundling a suitcase and all the palaver a trainer needs in my old lady shopping trolley. I arrived at the train doors just as they were closing. I hurled all my baggage on and threw myself aboard Indiana Jones style whilst trying to keep the door open with my broken arm. The door closed. The arm stayed in the door. Happily a kindly guy heard me yelp and  ran to my rescue, pressing the button to release me and my arm so I could slink sheepishly to my seat.  This was not the last time in the trip I would be relying on the kindness of stranger angels who just happened to be in the right place at the right time. 

Setback number two involved a mix up of hotels in Bristol. Turns out there are two Double Trees and the one I arrived at was not mine. The day was saved , however by a lovely receptionist who took pity on me by driving me to the right hotel on her way home. 

Then the show started proper. As I was just about to welcome my delegates I reached up with my good arm to open a window and fell off my shoes. As I fell I turned my ankle and snapped the wedge heel off my shoe — these were my only pair of shoes. I didn’t fancy spending the whole corporate training day being flappy-shoe woman so I tried a temporary fix with blu-tak, but within the first ten minutes of the training it came apart. I owned up to the group and went for the lesser evil of going barefoot for the rest of the day. The end of the day came and one of the lovely delegates again took pity on my hobbling plight and offered me a lift back to the station. (Thank you, Angel number 3) We had a pleasant journey until we got comprehensively lost on the outskirts of Bristol which once a gain left me with a stupidly small amount of time to make my train.  As we arrived at the station I hit the ground running (barefoot) and sprinted to the arrivals board to locate the Liverpool train. Unfortunately this was the appointed day on which the tech had gone south at the station. I was  greeted by blinking boards saying out of order at every turn. The queue at the info desk was unconscionably long and there seemed to be no-one official in sight. I asked a few people but pandemonium was breaking loose and no one knew. I eventually found a rather harassed looking guard who said “The train’s just gone, it was the last one to Liverpool today.”and, as an even more helpful afterthought “You only just missed it”.

This time it wasn’t okay and I did cry. I sat on my bag in the middle of chaos central and wept. I must have looked as pretty as a picture. Barefoot, dishevelled, one arm in plaster and the other wheeling a shopping trolley. As is often the case it took a minute of proper ugly honking crying for me to have enough of a catharsis to get a clue what to do next. As I cleared my nose my brain followed suit and I began to remember that I always have resources and that so far there has always been help out there. As I began to calm down I began to remember the other times on my journey where help had appeared right in front of me and things had turned out OK. I remembered my various angels along the way so far and the thought popped in “just ask for help” . So I did. I sat there on my bag and I requested help. People walking past gave me an even wider birth. Then I did what any rational human being would do in that situation. I headed for the bar. I found a seat next to a pleasant looking guy reading a newspaper, and asked him if he’d watch my bag for a sec while I  got myself a large glass of red. When I sat back down he looked up and said, “You look like you’ve had a bit of a day” I laughingly replied “You could say that’ and told him a few of the highlights. “Well,” he said, “as it turns out I’m going to Liverpool too. There’s a train via Wolverhampton in about half an hour.  Just follow me if you like and I’ll guide the way.” He actually said that — “I’ll guide the way” So I did, and he did, and I got home. 

Angels and heroes come in all shapes and sizes and always seem to be there when you need them.  All you need to do is ask, follow your intuition and keep talking to people. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met the right person in the right place when I’ve needed help, and remembered to keep my eyes open. Even if you don’t believe in angels, you can believe in help. Under pressure it’s easy to get tunnel vision and focus on the problem rather than staying open and focussing on a solution. Everything is always fixable and we often forget that. Fighting with what’s happening in the present can stop us from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  If we can just tune out from the anxious rattle of our thoughts and open the spotlight to take in the bigger picture there is always, and I mean always, a solution to be found in the plentiful resources around us.

I used to tell my children that if they were ever felt in danger they should literally grab the nearest (preferably) mother or at least friendly looking person, look into their eyes and ask for help. There is a law in psychology called the ‘bystander effect’ which states that when people see that someone needs help they will usually default to the crowd, thinking, “Someone else will sort it”. It’s important therefore to bypass this by asking people directly — putting up your own metaphorical poster saying, “I need you!”  When you do this it cuts through the collective trance and people will invariably step up and help. 

 Perhaps we should apply this rule more generally in life, and not just in emergency situations. We are surrounded by incredible beings who might be only too happy to help if we can but ask. Asking is not so easy for a lot of us, me included. ‘Tough guy’ conditioning is instilled in many of us at an early age and creates a voice inside that says we should man up and sort it out by ourselves. But in the light of day how sensible is that? We don’t build our own cars or source our own food so why do we think we should have all the answers on our own to sort out every problem. Rather than closing down and toughing it out, why not put your coat on and go and ask a friend, colleague or neighbour. If angels are also in the realms of possibility for you, take a minute, sit quietly and call in the big guys too. I’ve heard that, just like bystanders, angels won’t help unless we ask (probably not for the same reasons — for angels it seems to be a bit more to do with free will). So stop for a minute, take a breath and say, “I need help here please, help me find the most beneficial solution” and then stay observant for a solution to present itself, and at the very least try not to get in the way by worrying. Divine timing might not match yours. A little patience may be required and a lot of flexibility. But trust that help will come.

And why wait for an emergency? Is there something right now you could do with a little help with? There is no hierarchy in who deserves help with what. Whatever is bothering you is equally as valid as whatever may be bothering someone else. Asking for divine or indeed secular help with the little, daily things is just as valid as the big stuff, and might even prepare us to be in the habit of doing so when we really need it. Ask for parking spaces, and for help finding  your keys, as well as with finding the new job, your cat or your spiritual purpose. There is no limits on what help is available for. You might be pleasantly surprised at how smoothly things can start to go. 

Once you’ve asked it’s important to stay alert to what comes. Sometimes we have the mistaken impression that if we ask for celestial help it must arrive in a celestial form. That angels will descend on clouds with trumpets to come to our aid. There is a story: 

A man was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help. Soon a man in a rowing boat came by and the man shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump aboard, let’s get you to safety.” The stranded man shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I prayed to God and he is sending help.” So the boat went past. Then a motorboat came by. “The guy in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.” To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, it’s OK, I prayed to God and he is sending me help” So the motorboat went past. Then a helicopter came past and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.” To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.” So the helicopter flew away too. Soon after, the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole thing with God, and gave him a bit of a tough time, “I had faith in you” he shouted, “but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!” To which God replied, “I sent you a rowing boat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

Heroes don’t always come in capes and angels sometimes use boats and helicopters. In this manner we can all be angels for each other. Lucian de Crescenzo said it better than me “We are each of us angels with one wing and we can fly only by embracing each other”  Sometimes you’re the angel, sometimes others will be the angel for you. Our prayers can be answered in the most mundane of ways so be open to and grateful for whatever comes. What could you use some help with today? Whenever you need something remind yourself to ask. And remember there is always help and our prayers are always answered. Someone out there is waiting for you to ask now. Don’t keep them waiting too long.