Falling into the great heart

I think yesterday was my first fail!* I planned to meditate before bed… and I fell asleep. I then had a night of such odd and vivid dreams, that I’ve woken up remembering (which isn’t normal for me). Maybe it was the meditation, but as that was on loving from the heart, I don’t think so. Maybe it was some life-processing going on in my subconscious, or maybe it was the coming of the full moon.

As you know, I don’t know a lot about Astrology but I’m fascinated by it. Here’s what I have learnt about today’s is full moon - it’s a full moon in Scorpio and it’s a powerful one - it will bring a surge of magnetism and personal power, like a pathway clearing overnight. It will give a sense of knowing what you want and the confidence to go for it. Also known as the Flower Moon, it’s named after the wildflowers that are abundant in May.

Here’s what I also know about Scorpio full moons - they can wreak havoc on your sleep and cause irritability. So I slept badly last night and feel irritated with myself for failing my yoga practice yesterday.

But what is failure anyway? A perceived lack of success wrapped up with disappointment and guilt, maybe? I feel like I’ve let myself down by not finding time and then when I did, falling asleep. But I’m still here, still showing up to write out my thoughts, to share my feelings. What is success, anyway? This is something I’ve grappled with since school as a very particular type of success was taught to me there. I now feel that success is being happy with yourself, being content, and having a life you’re grateful and proud of. And I’m still here feeling grateful. Esther is so strong on promoting gratitude and love and self-care, that the 100 days is still working.

Yesterday was a beautiful day - I was able to teach outside for the first time (a little chilly towards savasana, yes, but no regrets - there’s something so powerful about flowing in the fresh air). This is a stock photo representation of what we looked like:

Happy May.

*Hi I’m Lucy and I’m currently completing 100 days of Yoga - not a challenge, but a re-discovering and re-igniting my practice. I’ve decided to practice with Esther Ekhart on the YogaEasy platform. Choosing the practices that feel meaningful to me on the day, and sharing my thoughts and what I’m learning along the way. Find out more here.