Are Your Beliefs As Stubborn As A Bull?

Change is hard. Change is even harder when you don’t know where to begin. And that’s why I always check in with my beliefs before attempting change, no matter how big or small. Because at the end of the day, if you don’t believe change is possible, it will NEVER happen. So here’s a sample of an exercise I do for myself anytime I need to make changes and I feel like I’m stuck in the muck.

Desired Change: I want to be healthy and physically fit.

Belief: I’m not athletic so it will be impossible for me to be healthy or physically fit.

Result: Sulk and cry to the world that it’s not fair that I’m not athletic and now I’m doomed to be overweight and unhealthy for my whole life because I’m not ever going to be healthy like a marathon runner.

Fact: Being a marathon runner does not mean you are healthy or physically fit. (Source: Driving a van for the Ragnar Relay Race proved to me that folks of all shapes, sizes and health habits can run long distances if they want to.)

Unraveling the beliefs…

Why do I believe only runners and super athletic people are healthy?

Why do I believe that I must be a runner or someone who enjoys the gym to be healthy?

Why do I believe the gym is the devil?

I’ll spare you a lot of the internal unravelling because it’s quite silly how I get from A to B, but the cliff’s notes’ version is this: I don’t like doing certain activities because I don’t believe I’m good at them, or at least not good enough to compete and win at them, therefore I’m not athletic.

BIG FUCKING SIGH. These are the types of mental exercises that make me believe my beliefs are absolutely fucking ridiculous. And when I hit that point, a flood of other emotions pop-up, embarrassment being a big one.

Why would I be embarrassed of my beliefs? Because I believe I’m only supposed to believe in real things. Because the world seems to like to poke fun at people who are learning. Because when growing up there was a constant sense of competition surrounding my every move reinforcing my need to be perfect. Because if I’m not perfect at a thing I will be ridiculed, taunted and ultimately expelled from the group/team and I will be left alone to die at the teeth of a saber toothed tiger or an ice age. So now I’m embarrassed by my lack of physical acumen AND my beliefs.

That damned DNA strikes again. The need to be accepted by the group in order to survive will often affect our belief system. If I agree to the terms of the group, I am now safely protected by the group.

This is the easiest way to get caught up in false or limiting beliefs. And when we start to question the group (authority) about the implications of the beliefs, we’re often met with resistance. This is MEANT to keep you under thumb, within a specific set of beliefs so there is some semblance of control over a group or population.

So how does one get out from under that thumb? By asking questions. By letting yourself get a little vulnerable in the ego space. By being open to the fact that what you were taught may not be relevant to you personally. By being open to new information and new ideas. By allowing yourself the opportunity of a clean slate to look at things with a new perspective, one that is free of limitations.

Ask yourself when’s the last time you said “I can’t believe this/that happened!” After having witnessed something “unbelievable,” how do you meet it? You saw with your own eyes something that wasn’t supposed to be a real possibility become a reality. What do you do with that? Do you continue to shake your head and affirm NOPE, I didn’t witness the unbelievable, or do you change your beliefs?

So often it takes something tangible for us to really change how we view things. And that’s because beliefs are often based in the invisible and intangible. If I do X, I believe Y will happen. But until Y actually happens, it’s just a belief. And if Y doesn’t happen, does your brain start doing mental gymnastics to protect your ego that expected Y as the outcome and now you have to backpedal and explain away why Y didn’t happen so it aligns with the beliefs you held? Or do you take a step back and acknowledge new information?

No guilt, no blame, no shame… just observe how you meet new realities that are contrary to your beliefs. And then decide how you WANT to move forward with new information. It’s totally up to you what you choose to believe.

With so much love,

Tarah