A love letter to Nightingale & Courtney

Today is both an exciting and slightly sad day. A Merciful Sea, the third book in the Nightingale and Courtney trilogy, is released in paperback (following its hardback release on March 27). I thought I would compose a little love letter to the series and all the mixed emotions I feel at the end of the road.

A little over three years ago, I would have never thought I would be where I am now. My publishing deal came suddenly, thanks to a wonderful message about a little book, Leeward, I had up free to read online. From there, I gained a three book deal with a fabulous publisher, Canelo, and an editor who championed me as a young queer author writing in a very traditionally straight space.

The last three years have been a whirlwind of learning on the go and finding my feet as an author. I have grown in confidence, not just as a writer but as a person, arranging my own events, speaking to crowds as well as to much bigger audiences on podcasts, composing articles, and sharing my experiences on social media.

To be an author is never to have a day off. It is hard to explain the intensity of creating stories and characters. They never leave you alone. For these last years, I spent many times waking up in the middle of the night and immediately agonising over a plot twist; going to work at my old retail job and imagining dialogues between characters; or doing normal daily activities while thinking how to solve this particularly thorny pacing issue.

I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I have ceaselessly shared the quarterdeck with Nightingale and Courtney and even through the horrible writing and editing problems, I have loved their company.

These characters, and these stories, were a part of me. I have created many people over the years, and many plotlines, but these two exist so fully in my heart. Writing Nightingale turning from a troubled man completely unsure of his place in the world into someone who is comfortable with his identity was such a rewarding experience - as was Courtney who grew up and learnt to be more level-headed (while never losing his passion!). And I have adored exploring their loving partnership.

I am also so touched that readers have connected with these stories and characters. Going into these books, I wanted to write what I wanted to read and so I hoped others would want to read it too. I don’t often look at reviews anymore but I am immensely grateful for those who have spoken to me at events or reached out on social media or kindly promoted the books. It is such an honour to know that readers have loved Nightingale and Courtney.

I have been fortunate to have had some very generous feedback from places such as The Times who featured Leeward and A Merciful Sea amongst their Best Historical Fiction. There are also fellow writers who have been very kind with their enthusiasm, and people within the naval world: the Society for Nautical Research have been amazing, and the naval literature review, Quarterdeck.

I am also very grateful to the bookshops across the UK who have sold the trilogy. Especial thanks go to Medina Bookshop on the Isle of Wight for hugely championing the books.

Perhaps sadness is not the right term. Perhaps it is bittersweet.

I think every writer will relate to that feeling: coming to the end of something you have poured heart and soul into, only for it to suddenly…vanish. The writing and editing is done, the marketing is done (well, no, that’s never done), the release days are over.

For me, though, the ideas were not over. There are many storylines I could have written with Nightingale and Courtney, and many threads I wished to explore, but that might have to wait. Perhaps they will never see the light of day. I hold onto the hope that one day, they will.

There are always things that you wish you could have done differently. Usually, in the publishing industry, it’s stuff completely out of your control. It is a peculiar world. So much comes down to luck and who your books get in front of (why I am immensely grateful for my agent because what a scary, bewildering land publishing is haha).

I wanted the whole world to know about Nightingale and Courtney! I do feel there is still a bit of a barrier stopping people from picking up the books: for some, it is too naval, for others, it is too queer. The series sits in a very niche little spot between multiple genres. Although it’s lovely to hear people say that it isn’t their regular type of book but they really enjoyed it anyway, after hearing that for the hundredth time, I start to wonder if that’s the reason it hasn’t had as much success as other Age of Sail or queer books.

But those kind of doubts and worries are part of the natural life of a writer, no matter if you are published or not!

What has been perhaps the most lovely thing is meeting so many diverse and friendly writers, each one at a different stage of their journey. Writing is by and large a lonely thing but the writing community is so huge and generous.

A final word

For now, I have to relinquish the quarterdeck to Nightingale and Courtney. I am not leaving the sea yet but I will be on different ships, all of which have their own courses (and what very very different courses they are haha).

Thank you to everyone who has been there throughout the entire voyage! In my mind, Nightingale and Courtney are still sailing, somewhere.