It's Charlie Kirk's World

Right before Charlie Kirk’s trachea reproduced a Kool-Aide Man commercial, he was in the middle of a spirited debate with someone grilling him on his stance on gun rights. In the seconds before a bullet made Kirk’s body into modern art, he was in the middle of pivoting a question about mass shootings into gang violence. Apparently black-on-black crime is the reason we shouldn’t care about innocent lives lost, and it was the last words out of him before Kirk’s throat was given a new viewing port.

And so, like an oversized turd getting stomped down a shower drain, Charlie Kirk — husband, father, sociopath — exits the mortal coil, doing what he loved best. A major key reprise of Ben Shapiro, Kirk made politics into one long /pol/ thread on 4chan, and he will be remembered by the legacy he left behind; endless videos of his smug, gummy smile, excitedly firing another endless cavalcade of whataboutisms and flimflam, posted online for the braying and crooning of friendless groypers and the 75 year old retirees who sign Kirk’s checks. A man who truly believed very little, all his views selected for his personal wealth and benefit, spoken into a camera, with viewership exploding into the thousands.

Charlie Kirk died as he lived; as a smirking, preening, insincere little bitch, someone who would have worn the crown of Rush Limbaugh if they could get it on his oversized head.

The media did what it usually does, trying hard to speak in kind tones about his life and legacy, but it was an idiotic errand to begin with. You cannot have respect for the dead who’s life was littered with hawking ivermectin and handwaving pregnancy-by-rape. Which caught the liberal media, trying to have a sense of decorum, in a funny conundrum. How do you eulogize someone you see as a colleague, who only existed to tell people their woes were the fault of the black and the gay? I’m reminded of the language WWE used after Chris Benoit’s death — he definitely was a hard worker, who gave his all to put on a good show. Please don’t ask me to say anything else.

Some went even further than that, like Ezra Klein extending a hand to Kirk’s fly-covered corpse, all for the purpose of more Abundance hawking. Tossing a little Woolite on a hateful demon because in the end, don’t we all want what’s best for the country? Didn’t he do politics, in his own way? Somewhere, Aaron Sorkin is having an unexpected orgasm.

Social media sites like Bluesky clamped down on users posting “rest in piss” with rapid-fire account suspensions. Gretchen Falkner-Martin’s tweet snorting about the evil Nazi’s then-possible death got her a screaming phone call by a Warner Brothers executive and her comic under DC canceled. An MSNBC host described Kirk’s career as “hateful words leading to hateful actions” and was fired. All in service of defending the reputation of a man who would’ve unzipped and pissed on George Floyd’s grave if he thought it would make a good Tiktok.

The right, meanwhile, is treating his violent murder like Christmas just came early. Gnashing of teeth, stomping of feet, and the sadistic, gleeful warning to the loonly left that this violence done to all of them will be met in kind. As always, violent rhetoric is a prelude to violent action, but only when they say it is, because Kirk was an innocent.

(Moments after I wrote this, we learned the shooter was an irony-soaked groyper who etched absurdist memes like “if you’re reading this you are gay lmao” on bullets. I am clicking my stopwatch on the right connecting “notices ur bulge” to the DSA.)

My personal favorite part of this is the disdain with which the right seems to treat one of their own. They talk a big game about the heartbreak and tragedy, but if you read into the way they speak about Charlie, he’s no different than the outrage over a bottle of Pearl Milling Company syrup. Kirk’s blood splattered all over a sign that says “PROVE ME WRONG” is just another news story to them. They don’t share stories about personal interactions with the man, or work of his that touched their lives. Charlie Kirk’s new second esophagus is merely yet another headline to be mad at, another story to film YouTube videos over, forgotten a week later when Gerber adds a black baby to their packaging.

This is the irony to all of the liberal waxing poetry about the life and legacy of Charlie Kirk. Despite all of their attempts to humanize him, he was at best a C-list influencer in an already overstuffed market entirely held together by dark money. He fought his way to the top on a pile of bodies, both metaphorical and physical, and once he was the king, he was a figure to topple, as all the copycats absorbing his words ache to one-up him on issues he’s squsihy on, such as Israel. Major newspapers treat him more kindly than his own colleagues.

The right wing is not built on cooperation or collaboration — they see each other as competitors for the attention and money of the world. The very linguistical tricks, debate tactics, ‘politics as entertainment,’ and dump trucks of dark money that birthed Charlie Kirk also birth a thousand imitators, and there is no solidarity among atomized, individualistic, conceited business wizards and hustlers in the influencer world.

Libs of Tiktok and Kirk were competitors, and in her own way, she’s probably delighted that she no longer has to fight to out-psycho him any longer. A Mormon tiktok influencer was caught on camera stealing some of Kirk’s merchandise, freshly doused in his own innards, undoubtedly to hawk online as some sort of religious object. On the same token, I would not be surprised if the man who sniped a hole in Charlie’s thyroid differed on his politics on exactly one issue or less. The right does not feel empathy, just like Charlie Kirk instructed them. A dead body is to be fed upon.

So here we are, with liberals putting on a grim face to try and be polite to the biggest asshole the United States getting murdered, at a shooting he’d call “worth it” to keep the second amendment. Kirk’s so called colleagues alternating between salivating at surrogate revenge at the totally unrelated people they already hate, and weepy sentimentality pretending they ever liked him, all while trying to steal his income and audience in the aftermath.

A public response built out of polite, well-mannered liberalism and the sociopathic, bloodthirsty hogs on the right treating him like the new Cracker Barrel logo. No one can talk about Kirk as he was, because it would violate two different social taboos, so instead everyone plows forward, ignoring the career he proudly built, one he was flaunting with a new national tour that got him sniped.

CNN wants to play nice with the right wing pundits, both for career and business reasons, so we get polite articles detailing Kirk as a ‘right wing superstar’ who was ‘an aide to Trump.’ Fascist influencers respond by smirking and posting “Rope, tree, journalist, assembly required” memes. No one will learn a lesson. The back and forth shambolic joke of a media environment will lumber on, with everyone’s personal enrichment too valuable to sacrifice.

No one should mourn Charlie Kirk. Not because of the things he said and did — though trust me, that’s more than enough — but because Kirk got exactly what he wanted. He spent over a decade of his life building a world that was cruel, vindictive, self absorbed, and backbiting. He wanted more guns, more school shootings, and more apathy about both. He wanted more racism, more bigotry, more hatred. The fact that it found its way to him personally was not folly or arrogance on his part, but merely the foundational belief structure of the right — other people are not real and don’t matter. The only true patriot is you personally, and your Sword of Truth you use to cut through those who stand in your way. Truly, who can guess why the recently arrested groyper decided Chuck needed a lead-induced tracheotomy.

Kirk created the world he wanted to see, and that world then killed him. We should honor his life and legacy by celebrating his success. Charlie Kirk’s death is Charlie Kirk’s triumphant cheer of victory, clutching a trophy and wearing a gold medal. And as the media storm runs out of energy and sputters out, we should respect Kirk’s wishes by kicking his stiff body into a ditch and moving on with our lives. Truly, I think it’s what he would have wanted.