Welcome to JJ’s Words! It’s my public journal for me to share my experiences, document my journey, and my thoughts on literally anything, any advice, things I consume, things going on in my life, and anything else that I may find interesting. It’s mostly unplanned, unedited writing to get whatever thoughts out from the week(however short or long, and hopefully, there’s something that you may find interesting, helpful, or valuable. Honestly, it’s mostly a place for me to freely ramble, process things, and clear my mind, even if no one cares to read it.
Lately, I realised that life has been quite good. The past week or so, it feels like many things happened that continue to make me realise that things are looking up in many areas. Some of it, I just can’t explain. It feels like everything is more positive and optimistic.
Social life for the first time in like ever has been amazing. I have met so many great people. I had great conversations. I feel like I have connected with some more. On a personal note, that has been something that I struggled with for as long as I can remember. Even at university, it wasn’t something that was going well entirely.
I have been more productive, whether that’s with my basketball content or even trying to keep being consistent with content here. I have been slowly getting myself into good habits where I tried to fix up my diet, exercise more, read a lot more, and also try to get into different things. I thought about looking ahead, and I got more clarity on what I should do and aim for.
It’s almost coming up to one whole year since moving out to London, and it’s been a wild one. I feel like I’ve gone through so many chapters and seasons in twelve months. Even though there have been some bad things that happened during this year and there were some very down moments, this has still been easily the best year of my life.
And it really was that simple. In the previous couple of years, life was just a bit ugh. All it took was moving out and meeting new people. The last three months also showed me that, again, if you do want a change in life, all it takes is a change of scenery and meeting more people. Everything will follow after that.
That has made it quite reassuring that it’s never that bad. It is reassuring that whatever is going on in your life, or how lost or upset or just not feeling sure about how to feel about life, can be changed in a handful of months. It’s always nice knowing you can change the outlook and the direction of your life whenever you want, especially if you are young.
Everyone always makes it seem like they can be behind in life or that they need to rush certain things because it’s that time for them to do those things. I also felt like that. That’s why I overcompensated on certain things to try to get ahead because I felt like I had to. But there really isn’t any timeline. I think that is the most important thing to realise: there is no timeline for anything. There’s nothing stopping you from doing anything because you should be doing X or Y at this age. Before this year, that was kind of my reluctance too to get into hospitality because at 25, I should be thinking about my career. This year made me realise to just fuck that mindset.
It’s not just about this year in itself that was good, but more so about how it made me change how I look at life going forward. As long as you can get yourself into a position where you have a job that covers the bills in whatever place you’re at, everything else is manageable. I’m still deciding and figuring out what I should do next or what my career should be like, but none of that feels so stressful, nor does it give me anxiety thinking about it anymore.
I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I also see nothing wrong with taking these one-year windows to try completely different things and go from there. I don’t like to think about far into the future because it feels like it locks me in. There’s the common interview question: where do you see yourself in five years, but I can’t tell you that at all. That is probably the hardest question I can think of because why would I be thinking five years down the stretch? Right now, my outlook is what is going on for this upcoming year, and that’s it. I will see what happens during it and after and pivot when necessary.
I also always felt, what if I do X and it might just be a waste of time at this point? That’s how I tried to decide on what I need to be doing. But why not just remove that thinking and not see anything as a waste? Not everything has to be fully planned out for years to come. What’s wrong with one-year windows?
My funny way of looking at it, being a basketball fan, is seeing life as one singular, individual season. I will have whatever my championship is for that year, and that is what I’m going to focus on. The following season, it might be to repeat in that same area(team), or it’s changing directions or goals and doing it all over again.
One of the main reasons that life has been feeling good is the people.
It’s now been three months since I’ve started a new job at a different bar. No exaggeration, but these have been some of the best months in my life. Maybe the bar was in hell, so what happened may not be entirely special or big, but it has made all the difference in my life.
I tweeted recently that the right people in your life really do make a massive difference. The right people can make life so much more fun and enjoyable and also see life differently, I guess. There’s always that saying that who you surround yourself with is probably the most important thing in your life.
For the first time in my life, I feel that, and apparently that has been showing. I was told that I just look happier. A friend from Uni and a friend from school both said something similar: that I just seem different in a good way.
I noted last week that being able to be vulnerable is important, and I somehow found it so easy and comfortable to do that with these people from work. But another thing that I’ve noticed is that I just enjoy myself more. That’s it. I enjoy taking more pictures and more videos. I enjoy dancing more and having fun going out.
There was a recent staff party, and that was amazing because everyone there makes it so much easier to be yourself. And that’s the thing that, I guess, I never seemed to have felt before. I was at Uni. I have been on a number of basketball teams. I have been around so, so, so many different people at different stages, and it never once felt so comfortable and easy as it has been here.
I've only known some of these people for barely three months, and it feels like I’ve made more memories than at any point — again, that probably shows the bar was low as hell.
Another personal note, but something I have struggled with is showing affection and connecting on that kind of level. There have only been a handful of people in my life that I felt that I could do that. And I guess that also kind of put a ceiling on the friendship if you don’t feel comfortable enough to open up like that or to show appreciation and affection.
But here, there are some people I grew closer with that I don’t think I’ve ever done that with anyone else. And I think because of it, at times, it still feels quite weird in a way. It still sometimes feels like you question why it is so nice.
That’s what made me realise that the people in your life play such an important role, if not the most important role — and I really appreciate everyone that I met so, so much. Life can really change instantly if you feel like you met someone you connect with. I get that it’s not as easy as it sounds. Hell, it took me 25 years to come across such a group of people. But I think the only way to do so is to just meet more people because when you do come across that group, everything else becomes easier.
Staying on that point of meeting people, that’s what the last couple of weeks have been. I always say that I’m quite introverted and that I like my space and that I do tend to keep myself to myself a lot of the time.
But I also absolutely love to meet new people and get to know everyone.
I guess what makes it a bit more difficult is sometimes needing the right environment to do so. If there’s a big group, I will be quiet. There may be instances where I won’t even say a word for quite some time when I’m out with people. I will default to listening. It’s always just breaking the ice with multiple people that’s the issue.
But if there’s a common interest and it is one-on-one. I can open up so quickly and then I can talk to so many people. It’s always fun going to places where there are many people you can talk to.
This is something that I touched on a few years ago where I did go to a party where I knew two people:
That’s why I did something this week that I had never done before to try to push myself out of my comfort zone. I bought tickets to this house party that I found online. It’s one of these events that are organised and hosted each month. That’s probably going to be a bit nerve-wracking going to a place where there is no one that you know. There’s no one that can be used to introduce you to someone or act as a safety net where you can see what they’re doing.
I have no idea how that’s going to go, but it’s kind of exciting.
And again, that’s something I don’t think I would’ve been doing so easily had I not met the people at work. These three months have kind of helped a lot in just feeling about myself. Something that I again didn’t enjoy doing is posting on social media. Somehow, that is not an issue, and I post videos of me dancing and having fun.
It has then bled into trying to just, I guess, reinvent myself in a way; whatever that means.
As I mentioned at the start, it’s coming up to one year being in London. That also means it’s been almost one year in hospitality — I never worked in hospitality before.
Best decision in my life to do so.
This was also one of the decisions that was getting me out of my comfort zone. Hospitality was definitely not something that I feel like would’ve suited my personality and just how I work in general.
And yet, it worked out, and I absolutely love it. I’ve only been in two very different bars, but it’s been the best thing, especially the one I’m currently at.
I can definitely see the appeal of hospitality. The high pace. The constant rush. Being active. Needing to be social. All the things that I kind of needed to get out of my usual comfort zone. This really has pushed me in that way.
It’s just a lot of fun.
At this point, I’d encourage everyone to have some period working in bars if they haven’t already.
To wrap things up, here are some other scattered thoughts(that I’d look to dive more into potentially) I had throughout the week and any content that I read, watched, and listened to:
I’ve started to watch Marvel films. Outside of Iron Man and Spider-Man, I don’t think I’ve seen any other film or show. But it’s always been something that I see people enjoy so much. So, I bought Disney Plus, and I’m going through all of the films. I’ve decided to do so in chronological order. I have now finished Captain America, Captain Marvel, and Iron Man
Minibar by Gracie Abrams >>>>>>
Speaking of music, I can’t wait to see Noah Kahan once again. I think this will be my fifth(?) time seeing him life and I’m even considering buying more tickets to his show
To attempt to meet more people, I found some random independent artist on TikTok that will be having a small gig with other artists this Thursday, so I again thought, why not
I’ve read these two articles that are loosely related: “Should you sleep with your friends” by The 20 something newsletter and “I think you should taste all the flavours of love” by Maybelle Morgan
This is something I somewhat talked about earlier in a week when I had thoughts on dating casually:
Notes #1: On (casual) dating
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Jul 24
Welcome to Notes. A very random type of piece I’ll be writing to expand(or rather think out loud) on any kind of singular thought that I had, a conversation, a quote, a tweet, or absolutely anything else. This will serve just as another small space to force me to write without worrying about any structure or goals whilst not digging deep into the idea e…
The two articles made me think about dating more. Not sure what the thoughts are or what it could be, but I just wanted to make a note for future reference.
Here are other content I’ve consumed:
Rebuilding life after emotional disappointment, Milk and Cookies
How to balance life while still being human, Milk and Cookies
This is an article that I also want to dig deeper into. I’ve had a weird relationship with balance in life
So, that’s all for this week’s JJ’s Words. I am still trying to be more consistent with a number of things with my content, my job, and potential career stuff.
I also tidied things up on this Substack. There are four main categories of content that I’ll be sticking with:
JJ’s Words: This is this. It’s a weekly(ish) newsletter that is mostly written like a public journal that has thoughts scattered everywhere that is mostly about me and my experiences. It has life updates, book stuff, and content I consumed. It’s a collection of everything that I’ve journaled to myself or things happening that I think are worth sharing
Notes: That’s a shorter piece where it can literally be anything. If I have a random thought, random conversation, or I see a tweet/Tiktok and I want to give my opinion on or expand my thoughts out loud, I will just write a note on that.
Book Club: Everything and anything related to books. This is mainly just my thoughts and notes on books I read
Essays. These will be standalone ideas that are more in-depth and have a specific purpose or question.
That’s how this whole Substack will look. The goal is to be consistent with that on top of my basketball. There are 90-odd days until the NBA season starts. I have a semi-long-term project for Simply Ballin that shouldn’t take up that much time. Because the goal is to be diverse with my time for these three months to get as much various content done as possible.
I hope you found something worthwhile to read here.
If you got to the end, thank you, and I hope you have enjoyed JJ’s Words and have a great day!
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