Sweet Tea and Jesus

Hi everybody! Thanks for being here. And thanks for all the kind words and prayers about my cataract surgery. The procedure went well and the next one is coming up July 1.

Speaking of July, I’ll be on vacation all month. So during that time I’ll be dropping a revised 4-part series from the Archive called What We’re Looking For. New stuff will head your way starting again in August.

Today’s reflection is drawn from the Epilogue of my last book A Full-Hearted Life. It’s called…..

Wearing my clerical collar and pectoral cross, I was ordering lunch at a Southern big-city restaurant with a friend. No tables were available, so we sat at the bar.

When our twenty-something server asked for our drink order, I asked for sweet tea. Tongue in cheek, I added, “I’m not sure Jesus will love you if you don’t have sweet tea.” Without missing a beat, she smiled warmly and said, “Well, I’m an atheist, so that really doesn’t matter to me. But we do have sweet tea.”

I immediately liked this woman. More for her response than for the sweet tea. And she seemed to enjoy the brief exchanges with my friend and me each time she stopped by to check in with us. If time had allowed for a serious conversation, I might have asked her about her beliefs.

I believe that we all want to lead a full-hearted life. We need to have a sense of identity: a sense of who we are and that we are worthy of love and respect. Authentic relationships are vital to a meaningful life, and we flourish when we’re passionate about some purpose. These are the elements of a joyful life. And all of these elements arise from our foundational beliefs.

You see, our waitperson was no unbeliever. Everybody believes something. And that offers us a key to living in this secular world of ours. We will regularly encounter others who believe something other than our own Christian faith. Instead of perceiving those beliefs as a disrespectful challenge or a threat to our faith, we can recognize them as different. And difference is an opportunity to be curious, not judgmental or defensive.

In my book A Full-Hearted Life, I shared my memory of a conversation with one of my philosophy students named Ellen. Her family of origin had been thoroughly secular. She had grown up with no personal experience of religious traditions and no acquaintance with traditional spiritual practices.

But you could see that she navigated her way through this world on the basis of a belief system. That belief system did not include God, but I’m convinced that it was in essence a faith. A non-religious faith. But a faith nonetheless. To draw on William James’ definition of faith, she believed in “an unseen order, and [that her] supreme good lies in harmoniously adjusting [herself to it].”

She had been shocked by the suggestion that I was, at least symbolically, a cannibal because I ate the Body and Blood of Christ. The idea violated her moral code. And since I taught philosophy and commended the importance of rational analysis to my students, she judged my attachment to an apparently irrational superstition to be hypocritical. From her perspective, hypocrisy counted as a serious sin, even if she wouldn’t have used the word “sin” to describe it.

In other words, she had basic convictions about how we should treat one another and about what counts as a virtuous character. Her judgments rested upon a story she had about the grand scheme of things, about how reality works.

The principle I try to follow is this: any friend of Jesus’ is a friend of mine. And Jesus has befriended everybody, whether they realize it or not.

That theory of reality leaves no room for the supernatural. Psychology, social science, and natural science tell us all we need to know about the human condition and how best to lead our lives.

What I discovered is that she was not anti-religious. Her story of reality simply made no room for the supernatural and told her that religion was passe: an artifact from an era plagued by primitive thinking.

Crucially, she had received her secular faith passively. From parents, friends, media, and teachers. She hadn’t yet done the hard work of asking whether or not her faith story really held existential water. If it supported her distinctions between good and evil, provided a purpose in this life, or gave her an authentic sense of self. She hadn’t asked, does my story really work?

For instance, how can someone insist on the equality of every human being when their perspective is limited entirely to the natural world? Individuals are clearly unequal in physical strength, eyesight, hearing, and intellectual ability. We Christians, by contrast, can say that everyone is equal because we believe that everyone is created in the image of God and that God loves each of us infinitely.

Here’s how my faith urges me to approach the Ellens of the world and everybody else I meet. Remember that Jesus loves them. And so, I should, too. An important expression of love is to take the time to listen to another person’s faith story respectfully and to engage with it honestly on its own terms. In other words, does their story really work?

That’s what I did with Ellen throughout her college days. It’s what I imagine would have been interesting to do with our busy atheist server that day. Additionally, once we’ve listened, we may have the opportunity to explain how the story of Jesus helps us to make sense of our life and to navigate its complexities.

Or, as C. S. Lewis once put it, “I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” In this way, we may be able to convey how Christianity could help them to make sense of their own lives. But remember, all of this begins by listening respectfully and actively.

The principle I try to follow is this: any friend of Jesus’ is a friend of mine. And Jesus has befriended everybody, whether they realize it or not. Now I admit that this is easier in some cases than others.

A priest friend of mine once told me about a meth addict who violently disrupted a worship service she was leading. He stormed into the church, threatened her with a string of obscenities, and eventually slammed the door on his way back out. Her prayer in that moment has proved helpful to me a few times: “Well Jesus, you better show me what you love about this guy, because I’m really not seeing it right now.”

Following Jesus means to navigate our way through life with the Spirit of love, because we know ourselves to be loved beyond reason. The way of love is a way of intentional response to the risen Christ who walks along with us as the Good Shepherd. Through thick and thin. In moments mundane and exhilarating.

The Way of Jesus is a radical alternative in this world. We are God’s beloved, and so is everyone we encounter. However bruised and battered and disfigured by circumstances they may be. No matter the language they speak, who they love, their country of origin, the color of their skin, or the beliefs they hold dear.

Each step we take can be a response, a response to the love we’ve been given as gift. Pure, unearned, unachieved, unconditional love. That is the essence of the full-hearted life.

And to be clear, we do not achieve a full-hearted life by loving hard enough or loving just the right way. We participate in that life, the life that the risen Christ shares feely with us, when we open ourselves to his love and have the courage and the humility to pour that love out to the world.

The Woodlands is always free. When you opt for a paid subscription you support ministries in under-resourced contexts. For instance, your generosity is sending 25 children and youth to camp for a week this summer.

Sometime today or through the following week, notice one person you would normally overlook, dismiss, or simply pass by.

Pause for a moment and pray:

“Jesus, show me what you love about this person.”

Then continue your day, carrying that question with you.

Prayer

Jesus, help me to see others as you see them. Teach me to listen with respect, love without fear, and remember that every person I meet is someone you love. Amen.

I’ve been working on a manuscript that grows out of many of the themes we’ve explored together here at The Woodlands, and I’ve begun a conversation with a publisher. The book is meant to be a companion for anyone who wants to slow down, pay attention to God, and grow into the life that Christ is already sharing with us. I’ll keep you posted as things develop.

That’s it for now. Until next time, be well and God bless.

Jake

P.S. If you haven’t read it yet or want to gift it to a friend, you can grab a copy of A Full-Hearted Life here.