ARE SALARIES A MYTH?

It’s been one week since we got paid… nope, scratch that. 4 days. And somehow, after settling bills and saving for rainy days, one word- a common phrase is back on the tip of everyone’s tongue.

“I’m broke”

“We’re broke”

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I’m so sorry that I am only now writing to you because of the dilemma my bank account is suffering. I guess inspiration comes when you’ve drunk garri twice a day, and you’re on your way to drink the third.

“Three square meals”: a square doesn’t have three sides, and even if it were 3², I doubt anyone eats nine times a day.

For the sake of formality, my name is Tochi, and I’m hungry.

I never knew hunger until I started working and earning a salary. If my stomach ever grumbled when I was unemployed and studying. I’d take a walk and come back to study.

NO FOOD FOR OLODO

But ever since I graduated with a second class upper and started putting theory to practice, my spirit has been legally entitled to satisfying my hunger.

So each month, I wait patiently for my salary. I get it, then I lose it. Not to two sure odds, but to the market, groceries, sanitary pads,(bills)

Saving for rainy days too. Seasons change, and I must be prepared for what is to come.

The problem now is, since I’m yet to find my other six sources of income, even if my

future dreams have no part of labour, I romanticise saving for rainy days so well that I starve myself of the good things in life. I put half or more than half of my salary in my savings.

Why?

I really don’t know. Oh, I do!

I have targets to reach, and I do not care so much about my body; it is self-harm.

BUT EVEN THOUGH STILL!!

All these lamentations of mine at the foot of the country’s economic state.

Have you seen the prices of sanitary pads now? They make me regret having a uterus. And to the people who go around saying “it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to smell nice,” don’t know about the perfume collection I have to keep up with.

Boya, I’ll start buying scent leaves to smell nice.

EVEN SCENT LEAVES ARE EXPENSIVE OMG

Skincare nko?! ughhhh

Where are we heading to???

The economy has pushed us to settle on improvs.

1. Beef isn’t the only side piece protein

2. You can buy fanyogo instead of a bowl of ice cream

3. Too much sugar isn’t good for your health, so go on a soda diet

4. Eat once a day to maintain a healthy weight

5. Enter a danfo bus, drop at a known bus stop, then book a ride to the location of that unknown place you’re going to

The last point saved my wallet last week. I paid 6k to and fro for something that could have cost me 22k with Bolt. It’s crazy, but it helped.

Yes, that’s a new wig. Mind your business before I mind it for you!

This is the closest to a piece that I have written in a while. I guess my inspiration is gone with the wind, like my salary.

till next time, mi amores, stay safe.