STRONG WITH IONA #49

Navigating Birth and Postpartum Second Time Round

Having shared honestly much of my first pregnancy journey and birth story, I have yet to share much about my second - like many things, once you have ‘done this’ once, it’s easy to forget the momentous physical and emotional load a second pregnancy and birth can be, and to simply crack on with life, without giving this a second thought. I wanted to share my experiences so far in the hope, as always, that they resonate with someone, somewhere - who also may be bursting into tears because they lost a sock, or some seemingly random reason. And I want you to know - I see you.

Birth and the Differences the Second Time Around

Birth is something I was both excited for and fearing the second time around - I hoped for a similar experience to my first - wild, yet empowering, but having worked with so many women since that day, I know that the story can often be so different. I wouldn’t say I was ‘scared’, but I certainly didn’t feel like I ‘knew what I was doing’ because I’d done it before. If anything, my thoughts seemed to be along the lines of ‘it can’t be this positive an experience second time around, there’s just no way’. But despite these feelings creeping in now and then - as my contractions started, I felt trust and confidence in my body, the birth prep was done, now it was about letting it happen and seeing what this story was to tell.

I won’t dwell too much on the details - although I’d love to - all I’ll say is, yet again I came out of that birthing centre feeling like a superhero - not only acknowledging, but marvelling at what my body had done and yet again with an overwhelming feeling of strength. I want to note at this point that I believe any birth story is a story of strength. Over the past 3+ years, I have worked with many women, and there are not two birth stories the same; every one is different, and every one, in my opinion, is a representation of female strength and power.

The Postpartum Journey Begins

I vividly remember texting a friend on ‘Day 3’, assuring her that I was fine, that I was feeling balanced and calm, and the hormones simply hadn’t made an appearance. And then by day 14, the tears came. My husband looked back in his diary from after our son was born, and sure enough, on day 14 and the tears came. Little of this can be recalled by me, who seems to have forgotten these (and many) other details from those early days. For the last few weeks, the tears have abruptly made an appearance, and just as abruptly subsided - I swing from ‘let them come and embrace them’, to ‘is this normal’, to ‘why the hell did I just start crying because I lost my X, Y or Z’, to aren’t I so lucky for this magical time!

For someone who has worked damn hard to regulate their nervous system, to put tools in place, to create calm and stillness in the chaos, and who was doing pretty well at this, this sudden shift in emotions has been challenging to navigate. Judgment, shame, worry, and anxiety all creep in at times. Why am I crying for no reason? I’m not tired, I’m fine, and many other thoughts flood my brain. I am acutely aware that every woman who gives birth will face hormonal changes and fluctuations, to varying degrees. I am also aware of the severity of postpartum mental ill health and how to recognise this, and the tools we can equip ourselves with to help us reduce our chances of this happening. And so through conversations, many sharing stories and laughs about this time and the measured support of my family (toddler not included), I am riding the wave.

My aim is something I know we all find so difficult, whatever the emotion - is to sit with them - know this is my body and mind shifting, altering, changing for this next phase of life, and know that I am lucky to have those around me that will hold me close, keep me safe, and take the piss out of my ridiculousness when needed to lighten the load. I guess I wanted to share this aspect of my postpartum journey so far - as it’s something I can’t remember from last time - but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, and so I want to give it recognition and to say to all those new mothers out there. As mighty as this feels in the moment, it shall pass. And if it doesn’t know where to go, know what to do, and don’t be afraid to reach out for that help and support.

Finally, I wanted to share something I have written about many times, it’s something I talk about with my family, friends and clients every week. Gratitude and glimmers - noticing the small moments and savouring these. This time around, I spent much of the first few weeks out walking with my daughter in the carrier, spending time with family and friends, drinking my favourite chai in the sun, stretching, breastfeeding in silence, reading and sitting in silence between the moments of noise. It is these moments - the hugs, the sun on my face, the movement that I have savoured. If we don’t look up or around us, we don’t stop, we don’t slow down, we don’t notice these. And particularly at times like this, these moments are everything - nothing big, or fancy or grand - just small moments of joy to help us feel calm and safe in our body and mind. I write mine down, usually before bed, but even just noticing them is enough.

I have been reading lots during this time and wanted to share a few recs at the end of this issue. Enjoy!

The Names, Florence Knapp

The Fourth Trimester - recommended by 2 of my wonderful friends (and guests on my pod) - I can’t believe I have never read this, not only is it changing my perception of my own journey but impacting my work with others.

Training for my Old Lady Body, Elizabeth Davis - every woman (and man) needs to read this book!

I’m hoping this issue is my gateway back into writing - it’s such a mindful and creative task for me that I so enjoy, let’s see if I carve out the time and I hope to bring you more (non AI formulated) content for you to enjoy!

Have you loved reading this week’s issue? Want some more positivity, motivation, and energy to help you with your overall health and fitness? Check out the ways below you can work with me:

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