A Budget Friendly Mini Writing Retreat

Writing has a certain mystique to it. When I tell people that I like to write, people immediately picture smokey bar rooms, deep conversations, and traveling the world with gorgeous women. They think of Hemingway and David Foster Wallace, weirdos who stand apart from society so that they can look at it from afar and philosophize on the written page. They believe in the romance of writing, the characters who pursue writing as a craft being elevated in their minds to a class of mythical being. And in the world of writing, nothing is more romantic than a writing retreat. Going somewhere exotic, taking long walks, contemplating, wrapping yourself in the airs of being a writer in the vain hope that a genius idea will spring into your head. The cabin in the woods, the room on the beach, the writing retreat offers just another chance for us writers to distinguish ourselves from the mere mortals who pursue lesser crafts like painting or leatherworking. What could be more fun?

I’ve spent a lot of time recently looking for writing pitches, because I want to write more and I also want money, something that pitches occasionally offer. During this search process, I’ve seen many offers for writing residencies or writing retreats. They look so so cool! Unfortunately, they also are expensive. Like stupid expensive. I guess I didn’t realize that you have to pay for writing retreats, but apparently there is an industry out there preying on writers, and more likely people who want to pretend to be writers. I guess writing retreats were created for young Brooklynite trust funders and not regular people trying to learn how to write. As a young broke aspiring author, I cannot afford to pay 2000 dollars for a writing retreat in the Hamptons. But I still like the idea of going on a writing retreat. So, I decided to design a mini writing retreat of my own. My goal was to see how cheaply you could do a writing retreat and actually get stuff done. No frills, no luxuries, just pen to paper (or more accurately finger to keyboard) It turns out that if you are a tiny bit frugal you can have an awesome writing experience for almost no cost.

The first thing I did was look for a cheap place to stay. This can be customized for your budget, but for me, there were basically two options; camping or a motel. Motels have gotten shockingly expensive in recent years, so I opted to camp. This works much better in warmer climates, but if you have the gear you can even do a retreat in the dead of winter. The most important part of a planning a writing retreat, in my opinion, is picking a cheap location first. I would love to spend a month writing in a French vineyard overlooking the Alps, but until I win the lottery it just isn’t gonna happen. By choosing a location based on price first, you ensure your budget is kept low. I ended up choosing a campsite near Borrego Springs, because it was free, relatively warm, and close enough to home that I didn’t spend all day driving. I guarantee you that there is a semi cheap option within 2 hours of your house if you are willing to look for a bit.

The next thing you need to figure out is where you will actually write on your writing retreat. You might be thinking something along the lines of “Well Hemlock, I’ll just write in my room or tent.” Ok, cool idea. But you’ll want a coffee. Your chair will be too rough. The ground will be too hard. You’ll get cold. You’ll get hot. Pretty soon its 2pm and you are sipping on a Sprite or something in a second tier fast food restaurant, with not a single word having been written. In a lot of countries, cafes will let you stay there for as long as you want as long as you occasionally buy a coffee or snack. But in small town America, there aren’t a lot of chic European cafes at your disposal. That’s why I recommend public libraries. They have public wifi, are reasonably comfortable, and best of all you can stay as long as you want. If you can’t afford a hotel or Airbnb with wifi, this is your best choice. Of course, you don’t really need wifi to write, but a lot of writers consider it essential. The town I stayed at had a great public library, so I was all set.

In terms of other expenses, bring a cooler and buy food beforehand. I didn’t bring enough food, and I ended up having to go to a grocery store while I was there. It was delicious, but it did cost me more than I wanted. You aren’t there to eat; you are there to write!!! Pack as much as you can beforehand, not just food but clothes, caffeine, alcohol, ZYNS, whatever you need to stay locked in and in the zone. The goal is to bring enough food, drinks, and “stuff” that you feel comfortable, so you don’t have to spend time at stores when you could be doing something more valuable with your time, like, I don’t know, writing!

As I said above, people tend to think that writing is more about the vibes than actually getting anything done. A lot of “writers” I see online treat writing like gardening. They try to cultivate a writing “atmosphere” in the vain hope that like cultivating a garden by preparing the environment in a certain way writing will grow out of the dirt inside their mind with minimal effort. But anyone who has actually tried writing (or gardening) knows that it is not like that at all. When I write, it’s mostly a combination of furiously drinking coffee and starting at an empty screen, interspersed with brief bouts of actual good work. So if you are going to go to the effort and spend money going on a writing retreat, then make yourself a PLAN! Plan out what you are going to do and stick to the plan. If you want to write 10,000 words, then write an outline before you leave. If you want to edit, then decide ahead of time what you are going to edit and do your darndest to edit it all before you leave. Having a goal in mind anchors the whole trip and stops it from becoming a crappy vacation. Even if you don’t get anywhere near your goal, you’ll feel better because you worked towards it.

That’s basically all there is to it. My writing retreat was cheap, fun, and easy to plan, and you can do the same thing! Here is my most important piece of advice, which I saved for last so as to bless the readers who actually read my entire articles! You can write anywhere. You don’t need a mansion, or a computer, or a typewriter, or a chalet, or a cabin, or a nice pen, or literally anything. It is the only art that doesn’t require any expenses, so stop trying to make it something else!! Just have fun and write something that makes you happy!

P.S. If you enjoy my writing, you can buy me a coffee at this link below. Yes, I am shamelessly begging for internet money. Don’t feel any pressure to give it to me. I’m just happy you made it this far.

https://buymeacoffee.com/hemlockhobo