RSS Amplifier

Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop · Aug 17, 2026

Police given new powers to taser people who whistle non-tunes

0
Sign in to vote or save

Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop · Grumpy Fuckers Coffee Shop

Police have been given new powers to taser people who whistle no tune in particular.

People who whistle nothing in particular have become one of the world’s most annoying fuckers.

A spokesman for the police force told Grumpy Fuckers:

“These people are the scum of the earth. They go about their day, whistling any old shit without a care in the world. It’s not as if they’re even whistling anything that we can recognise. We are therefore happy to announce that we will now be able to taser any fucker who continues to whistle. Personally, I can’t wait to beat the shit out of them. It’ll take a lot of stress out of my day and make me a lot happier.”

Police will start training on Monday at about 11.30am when they get out of bed.

No posts

Read the original on grumpyfuckerscoffeeshop.substack.com

Comments

Nothing yet. Say the first thing.

    Sign in to join the conversation.