Invited to the Wrong Room

I literally have no idea what’s been going on since I moved to Paris, and it shows.

Like when I went to Jacques Fromage1 in November, and I was COLD.

I thought I would be so cute, but I was bundled up. Bundled, in all black, fading away. I had neon mesh underneath, but no one could see it because it was so cold. I thought I knew what to expect, but I was wrong.

I bought water at the store. Apparently it’s water that makes you poop, but how would you know that unless you speak French and you saw the French advertisements for it?

Nowhere on the bottle does it say it, except for the really small “digestion”. But it also says magnesium and calcium. I thought magnesium helps with stress relief and sleeping, not pooping. So good thing the Frenchman intervened before I brought it to the rave with no toilet.

Which reminds me of how I have yet to bring the correct thing to a house party.

If you want to play it safe, bring beer. But then sometimes it’s wine drinkers so you could still go wrong. Sometimes you need to bring something homemade. Sometimes store bought is fine. But always bring carbs. The bread stereotypes are true and even cheese is a safe bet.

I remember I got invited to an apero party, and I had no idea what to bring. I grabbed some things from the nearby grocery store like I would for a picnic (olives, charcuterie meats, crunchy breadsticks, etc.), but it wasn’t what I wanted. It felt inadequate for a gathering that would extend past meal time because all I could think was,

What are we going to eat??

What I really wanted to bring were some meat skewers from a nearby Algerian restaurant, but I ran out of time to wait on French service and got snacks from the store instead. It ended up working out in my favor to not bring my original idea because most of the party was vegetarian.

People seemed to be supplementing wine for food because the only food available was similar to what I brought, snacks. Which fits the name of an apero party, but leaves me questioning the importance of dinner.

I was at a friend of a friend’s, and my French was borderline non-existent.

That night was full of surprises like discovering sparkling red wine. It’s not that good, but how interesting that I had never heard of it. This was also the house party that I stayed in my coat the entire night because they left the balcony doors open, mid-winter, for the smokers.

But the most shocking part was the food display.

Everything was white.

Yes, the people as well so maybe that had something to do with it, but there was no color on the table.

Everything was a form of a carbohydrate, and all I could think was

This is my life now in France.

Then, the hostess grabbed me and the Frenchman and our friend to go into her room with some others. They had more food but not enough to share with the party.

Finally!

Substantial food!

Y’all…

It was smoked salmon, covered in fresh dill.

I’m not against smoked salmon, but it’s not what I want passed around on a plate at a house party. I passed. I couldn’t foresee how my digestion would react to large chunks of cold fish on an empty stomach, so I played it safe.

It was so strange though because I was the only one who wasn’t excited about the fish…

It reminded me of how much I can feel like an outsider even when it’s a scenario I know well.

On the bright side, this is where I discovered olive “cake”.

Another party I could’ve done better at was a pre-game before a nightclub.

We were going out and a friend had just gifted me a half bottle of rum so I thought, perfect.

I brought it to the pre-game and no one touched it. The Parisians are drinking wine and beer and maybe a cocktail if the host(ess) prepared it, and I’m just like WOW.

Where have I moved to??

I get it.

If you’re going to last until 6 AM instead of 2 AM, soft alcohol is a safer choice, but it took me time to accept this.

No more shots or drinking games to get drunk. Now it’s talking while casually drinking for hours and ending up drunk.

Hopefully next time I will bring the right thing to the party…

Until then,

Check out my latest YouTube video about my fave festival in Paris, Jacques Fromage.

And check out my other story of what life is like in Paris:

Bree <3