I Talked About the French Pissing Outside and They Got Pissed

Everyone’s always saying,

Speak your truth

Be honest

Yada yada

Well, a few months ago1 it didn’t go as planned when a video got 20k views in 24 hours and as much as I’d like to say strangers on the internet have no impact on my life, I need to get something off my chest…

The week of Christmas after visiting some sand dunes2 on the west coast of France, I ran into a problem.

I had to pee.

I peed before we left but midway through the hour drive back to the house we were renting, I knew I couldn’t make it. I was so relieved when the Frenchman said he was pulling over for gas. Perfect. I could pee without making everyone pullover for me.

When we pulled up, there was no station, only gas pumps. Strange, but luckily there was a massive grocery store in the same parking lot. Surely they must have a toilet.

As I’m rushing through every corner of the store looking for a subtle entrance to the toilet, I start to lose hope. This massive store doesn’t have one and I’m f*cked.

I ask an employee if they have one, and she tells me non with a slight hint of annoyance. Then I ask if any other place in this shopping center has one and I guess she hears the desperation in my voice because she softens and looks sorry for me and repeats non.

Fuck.

I buy the toothbrush the Frenchman requested plus some protein bars before going back to the car, defeated. I tell everyone in the car that I’m going to find a dark corner behind a store to go handle my business.

As I’m scoping out a dark corner, I’m having flashbacks to all the times I’ve (or others with me) had to pee but there was no toilet available. The times when I saw strangers peeing outside because there was no access to a free public toilet. So it got me thinking, I should put this on the internet.

I share about so many aspects of my life from moving from the U.S. to France, I might as well include this.

I went from free public toilets at gas stations, shopping stores, hotel lobbies, 24 hr McDonald’s, etc. to having to pay more than a croissant to use a questionably clean toilet in France. Sure you could beg a cafe owner but the guilt of not buying something or the likely rejection doesn’t make it feel free.

I’ll link to the post here so you can get the full effect with the dramatic music3.

But the text said:

Moving to France from the U.S. is wild because wym4 there are no free public toilets and it’s normal to discreetly pee outside??

And the French did not like it.

I had some hesitations posting it, but it was more about,

Is this readable?

Not

Is this offensive?

Because I thought we were all on the same page, but clearly I was mistaken.

I was not expecting French people to come after me they way they did, so I did my part of pinning a comment saying:

I think it’ll help if I rephrase… there is a strong lack of free public toilets, my b

But come on... I’ve never needed to download Toilet Finder until I came to France and that says a lot.

When I went for a hike in a village outside of Paris, I remember when a friend had to pee. We stopped at a big store with a gas station, but there was no toilet. Only a laundromat in the parking lot.

Luckily an employee let her use the staff toilet, but that’s not the norm.

If you come to Paris, I’m sure you’ll smell pee at some point.

French people have confided in me that when they traveled to Canada, Canadians freaked out that they wanted to pee outside…

And I’m like yea… duh

But in France, it’s not that obvious

And then I thought,

Is the lack of free public toilets not a problem because so many people are dehydrated?

It’s no secret that the French are known for coffee, cigarettes, and wine (all dehydrating). Even the restaurants give you tiny glasses for water so maybe there’s not a strong need to pee among the people as a whole.

And then I thought,

Are they upset that the world already thinks the French smell bad and don’t shower?

I didn’t say it, but I see it on the internet and I agree, it’s insulting.

Then I thought about all the people who barely go outside or hop from one fancy place to another. How could they understand this problem? Of course they always have a place to pee.

The only suggestion for a free public toilet in all the comments was a major grocery store shopping center, but they can’t see that the country is seriously lacking free public toilets.

All they can see is that an American is saying the French are pissing outside and now they’re pissed.

I blocked people.

I ignored comments.

I danced and vocalized my irritation, but it still got to me.

It was unexpected. I like French people.

I’m not ashamed that they have to pee outside because of external circumstances. I’ve joined them and shared it because I thought it was a bit absurd and funny.

But it seems like I hit too close to home on this one.

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Thank you to all the people who messaged me privately with encouraging messages. As someone still learning to fully express my opinions and not cripple under backlash, it helped.

Til next time,

Have you read about my secret to pronouncing the French R?

- Bree <3