The Relationships That Restore Us

One of the unexpected gifts of doing our own inner work is discovering relationships that evolve alongside us.

Sunday, I stopped by to deliver an order of High Vibe Spray that will be included in the swag bags for an upcoming event. Before I left, she showed me the beautiful new space she has created for her clients. We settled onto the couch, wrapped ourselves in cozy blankets, and what I expected to be a quick visit turned into one of those conversations that makes you lose track of time.

We talked about our work, the winding paths that brought us here, and what we each sense is unfolding next. We celebrated the wins we’ve experienced over the past year and laughed about some of the moments that only make sense in hindsight. We talked about our businesses, the people we serve, and the places where our work naturally overlap while still being completely our own.

As I drove home, I realized I wasn’t thinking about anything specific we had said.

I was thinking about how I felt.

I felt settled. Clear. More connected to myself than I had a few hours earlier.

The more I sat with that feeling, the more I realized it had very little to do with the conversation itself. It had everything to do with the relationship that held the conversation.

There was no comparison or subtle competition. Neither of us needed to prove the value of our work or explain why our approach mattered. We were simply two women who genuinely admired one another’s work and wanted to see each other continue to flourish.

There was enough room for both of us. Enough room for two different businesses, two different callings, and two different expressions of service. Neither of us needed to become smaller for the other to shine.

As I continued reflecting on the afternoon, I found myself wondering how often we actually experience relationships like that.

We spend so much time talking about boundaries, protecting our energy, and recognizing the relationships that no longer serve us. Those conversations are important, and there are certainly times when stepping away is the healthiest thing we can do.

But Sunday reminded me that protecting our energy is only part of the equation.

We also need relationships that restore it.

For years, I’ve taught that energetic hygiene isn’t just about clearing your energy. It’s about becoming aware of everything that shapes it.

We pay attention to the food we eat, the books we read, the practices that support our nervous system, and even the energy of our homes. Yet we rarely stop to ask a much simpler question:

How do I consistently feel after spending time with the people in my life?

Not once in a while.

Consistently.

Do I leave more connected to myself?

Or do I leave questioning myself?

Do I feel inspired to keep becoming who I am?

Or do I feel like I need to edit myself in order to belong?

Those questions have become just as important to me as any meditation practice because relationships are part of our energetic environment.

Some relationships leave us carrying more than we arrived with. Others quietly help us put things down. Some leave us feeling contracted, while others remind us of the steadiness that was already within us.

Sunday, I wasn’t given advice that changed my life.

I didn’t leave with a new business strategy or a revolutionary insight.

I simply left feeling more like myself.

The more I thought about that, the more I realized how rare—and how sacred—that feeling is.

Perhaps this is one of the quiet gifts of doing our own inner work. We begin to create relationships where there is enough room for everyone to be fully themselves. We stop seeing another person’s gifts as a reflection of our own lack because we understand that celebrating someone else’s light never requires us to dim our own.

That may be one of the most overlooked aspects of Practical Spirituality™.

It isn’t only about the way we care for ourselves in solitude. It is also about the relationships we intentionally cultivate. The people who leave us feeling steadier, clearer, and more connected to who we truly are become part of our practice. They become part of the environment that supports our growth.

Maybe that’s why I couldn’t stop thinking about Sunday afternoon.

It wasn’t because of what we talked about.

It was because, for a few hours, I was reminded what a healthy, grounded, spiritually mature relationship actually feels like.

And I think we all need more of that.