Chopped Chickpea and Avocado Salad with Double Pepperoncini; Herby Carrot Salad with Toasted Nuts and Dates

ONE THING I ENJOY IN MY SPARE TIME is complaining about the weather. If there were a Girl Scout badge for this, it would absolutely be on my sash. And it’s not small talk to me. If you bring up the weather at a dinner party, I’m not going to stare past you or change the subject. I’m going to gingerly pat the chair next to me, look you straight in the eye with a big smile on my face, and say: Let’s really hammer this out.

I’m not a scientist, but you really don’t have to be a Nobel Prize winner to know that weather is a flawed concept, a thoughtless concept, an unwelcoming concept. So I don’t mind saying that I simply would not have done it this way.

I would have gone with “nice everywhere year round.” As in late Spring or early Autumn in the Blue Ridge Mountains. October in California designed by Nancy Meyers would also have been on my vision board. Zero frozen tundras. No smothering broiling heat that makes you feel like someone is trying to melt your cheese until it reaches a bubbly golden brown.

But no one asked me, back when the universe was being conceived, so just look at the condition of this place.

And all of this is without even considering Earth’s very direct messages to humanity. (Basically: Please leave; you’ve overstayed your welcome and made a mess of the guest room.) For that, I have another favorite pastime: worrying until I have a panic attack. In fact, I think it’s possible that I distract myself from worrying about climate change by complaining about the weather. It’s a vicious and not exactly brilliant cycle.

When I get like this—about any topic, really—I make a list of things I can possibly do, with a column for the long term and another for the short term. The long term list regarding climate is, of course, complicated, guilt-laden, and multifaceted.

My short term list on the other hand, is more lighthearted and workable. And it happens to include thinking of ways to keep people’s kitchens cool, while also making them feel like they’ve eaten more than a bowl of cold green air (which is how an old boyfriend of mine once described the simple green salads I made with every meal).

As I’ve said here many times before, salad certainly doesn’t always mean light and lettuce-y. But I’m not convinced that people necessarily want to eat something cold and light when it’s broiling out. Otherwise, how do we explain people eating giant slabs of barbecued ribs all summer long.

So both of the salads I have for you today require very little effort and zero heat, but they’ll satisfy the urge to eat something substantial when it’s so hot you don’t even want to move away from your prone position on the sofa in front of the fan. You could probably make both of these from that very spot.

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Serves 4

Is this gorgeous? No. Is it delicious? Yessssss. I was a latecomer to the glories of pepperoncini—to me they were just something you removed from your plate or gave to someone else at the Pizza Hut in 1975. I didn’t really get them for a lifetime: Why are these here? But when I did finally get them, I felt sad about those lost decades. This salad makes up for all that. You get a double pepperoncini dose by employing them in the dreamy very slightly creamy dressing, then spiking the rest of the dish with sliced peppers, too.

I have to insist that you roughly chop your chickpeas for this dish; this way, you’re not eating a bowl of marbles and more of the dressing is absorbed. Just lay them out on the cutting board and go over them once or twice with a big knife. It’s okay if a few marbles stay intact.

• 2 15-ounce cans chickpeas, drained, rinsed, and roughly chopped

• 4 large stalks celery, split lengthwise then cut into small dice

• ½ cup sliced pepperoncini (you can add more later if this isn’t enough for you)

• Pepperoncini Dressing (method below)

• ½ heaping cup chopped parsley

• 1 heaping tablespoon chopped dill

• 1 to 2 ripe but firm avocados, peeled, pitted, and cut into bite-size pieces

• Big squeeze of lemon

• Pinch or 2 kosher salt

1. In a large bowl, combine the chickpeas, celery, pepperoncini, and enough dressing to coat nicely; toss gently. Let this marinate for about 30 minutes. When ready to serve fold in most of the parsley and the dill. Taste for more dressing. Meanwhile, place the avocado in a small bowl along with the lemon and a pinch of salt; toss very gently to coat. Gently fold as much avocado into the salad as you’d like. I usually use 1½ avocado.

2. Serve immediately, topped with the remaining herbs and a drizzle of the dressing or olive oil.

Makes about ¾ cup dressing; I used the whole batch.

• 1 cup whole pepperoncini, stems removed, loosely packed

• ¼ cup pepperoncini brine

• ⅓ cup olive oil

• 1 to 3 teaspoons mayonnaise, optional but advised, for a bit of creaminess (I used 2 for this salad)

• Freshly ground black pepper

• Kosher salt, but only if necessary

In a mini food processor, blend the pepperoncini, brine, olive oil, and several grindings of black pepper until smooth and emulsified; it will still have texture. Taste and add salt if necessary. Blend in the mayonnaise, a teaspoon at a time, up to 3 teaspoons. I used 2 teaspoons for this salad, and it felt just right.

Serves 4 to 6

Carrot salads are everywhere because they’re so easy and delicious. You can make them very simple: carrots, lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper. And you can make them a little more complex and mind-blowing. And if you have a food processor, you won’t be working up a sweat just to get a salad on the table. This is not the time.

I have doubled the original amounts for this vinaigrette because during testing I liked it really saturated (even though it’s also good with just enough to flavor it). I think it depends on how tender and fresh your carrots are. But the extra dressing is to be safe, plus you can use it on other salads.

You can, of course, toss everything together rather than adding the nuts on top, but only if you’re planning on serving right away; walnuts will get soggy. Plus, part of the allure of this dish is the separate layers.

• 2 pounds carrots, peeled and grated (I use the large-hole grating blade of my food processor)

• Kicky Citrus Vinaigrette (method below)

• 1 heaping cup roughly chopped mixed herbs (I used a 1 to 1 mix of mint and parsley; dill would be good)

• 4 to 6 big Medjool dates, pitted and chopped

• ½ cup roughly chopped toasted walnuts

• Whipped Feta (optional; method below)

• Kosher salt

1. In a large bowl, toss the carrots with a nice pinch of salt, about half of the Kicky Citrus Vinaigrette, and half the herbs. Let this sit at least 10 minutes. Taste and add more dressing as needed; the carrots will absorb a lot while resting. You want it juicy and a little spicy.

2. Add the dates (you’re going to have to use your fingers to separate the pieces) and most of the remaining herbs, leaving some for garnish. Toss gently to combine, then taste for more dressing. If you’re not using the feta, transfer the salad to a serving bowl or platter and top with the nuts and extra herbs.

3. If you decide to use the Whipped Feta, spread it thickly on a plate or small serving platter. Pile the carrot mixture on top of the feta. Garnish with nuts and remaining herbs. Spoon a little more dressing over the platter.

Makes about 1¼ cups

• 6 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

• 2 tablespoons fresh orange juice

• 2 tablespoons Champagne vinegar or white wine vinegar

• Finely grated zest of 1 orange

• 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

• ½ teaspoon cayenne, or more to taste

• 1 large garlic clove, finely grated

• ½ cup olive oil

• 1 teaspoon kosher salt, plus more to taste

• Freshly ground black pepper

In a jar with a tight-fitting lid, combine all ingredients and shake vigorously. Let the dressing sit while you prepare the rest of the salad. Shake again before using; taste for salt, lemon juice, cayenne, or olive oil and adjust where needed. You’ll probably have some left over for refreshing the salad or drizzling over the whipped feta. Or use it on another salad.

• 5 ounces good feta, preferably in brine

• 1 to 2 tablespoons olive oil

• 2 to 3 tablespoons Greek yogurt

Drain feta and place in a mini food processor with 1 tablespoon of the olive oil and 2 tablespoons of the Greek yogurt. Process until smooth and fluffy, stopping to scrape down the sides a few times. Add another tablespoon of yogurt, a little at a time, only if needed. You want it creamy and spreadable; you do not want it thin.

🥬That’s It! We’re done here! We’ll see you soon with a recipe for authentic Brutti ma Buoni. I’m kidding—it’s going to be salad.

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