you’re allowed to want more

After my twins were born, I was completely sure I was never going back to work. I wanted to be there with them all the time. Nothing I could ever do in my career would be as meaningful as this. I genuinely could not imagine wanting anything else ever again.

Then, around their first birthday, it started coming back. What? The itch of course. Knowing who I am, I laugh at the conviction I had a year ago. I am a do-er, my mind doesn’t stop, which is why I need to meditate more than the average person. So yes, the itch to create, to succeed came back. But it didn’t feel like my old drive before the babies. Back then, of course I still wanted to be successful, but it was a very different kind of wanting. Before it was, “I want to be successful, have freedom, wouldn’t that be amazing?” After becoming a mother, it became “I have a very specific vision of the life I want to be able to give these two, and I’m going to need quite a lot of money and quite a lot of success to do it, and I WILL make…