Before we get into this week’s newsletter, I’d like to announce that my group practice is now accepting new therapy clients in NY, NJ, & FL!
If you’re interested in a free consultation, click below.
Schedule a Free Consultation
Now, let’s begin…
BIG LOVE GESTURES
…who doesn’t want them… all the time?
The flood of love hormones hitting your entire being…making you feel like you’re floating on air.
A date where you finally get flowers. And on date # 2, you receive the words you’ve been waiting for someone to utter to you:
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
It feels like being chosen. Like finally being seen.
And sometimes… it is exactly that. But sometimes, it’s something else entirely.
Love bombing is an overwhelming display of affection, attention, and adoration early in a relationship. And it’s used, consciously or not, to fast-track trust before it’s been earned.
It can look like:
Constant texting and calling, even when you’ve asked for space
Grand gestures that feel disproportionate to how long you’ve known each other
Declarations of love, commitment, or a shared future, delivered at lightning speed
And before you ask, “so isn’t that just… really liking someone?”
It’s slightly different.
What makes love bombing especially disorienting…
is that it doesn’t feel like a red flag. And in a dating pool where swindlers and ghosts are the norm, it can feel like such a breath of fresh air.
Poo-poo in the dating pool can muddle your view of what is truly happening here.
If this resonates, share this newsletter with someone you know:
If you’ve ever felt unseen in past relationships, or if you’re someone who equates intensity with intimacy, this kind of attention can feel like coming home.
You’ll find yourself thinking:
“Finally, someone who really wants me.”
“I’d be silly to slow this down.”
“Maybe this is just what real love feels like.”
And often, it’s only later, when the affection turns to criticism , or the attentiveness turns to control, that the early intensity starts to look less like love, and more like a setup.
And when you can recognize that…
…when you can pause in the middle of the whirlwind and ask, “is this moving at a pace that feels good to me, or just a pace that feels good to them?”…
that changes everything.
And it helps cycle breakers understand that…
You can be open to love and still take your time getting there.
And listen, I get it, who doesn’t want a massive flood of oxytocin (the love hormone)? But if it comes with a tsunami of cortisol (the stress hormone), it is worth knowing taking the time to learn the difference.
Real connection can survive a slower pace. It actually tends to prefer it.
If this resonated with you, please share it with someone who may need language for what they’ve been experiencing.
Share Break the Cycle with Dr. Mariel
For other ways for us to connect, you’re warmly invited to explore the following offerings:
New therapy slots available in NJ, FL, & FL → Schedule a Free Consultation
Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma
Until soon,
Dr. Mariel
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