Are you great at starting but terrible at finishing?

Before we get into this week’s newsletter, I’d like to announce that my group practice is now accepting new therapy clients in NY, NJ, & FL!

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Now, let’s begin…

A few months ago, I decided I was going to build the garden of my dreams.

I’m a huge Alice in Wonderland fan. I love a garden story and all gardens…

the mysteries you find within it are endless. This was my moment to have my little garden to escape to.

I researched all types of ideas. I watched videos. I imagined quiet mornings with tea, surrounded by food I’d grown myself, how my grandmother used to.

And after some planning, one weekend, I bought everything I needed. Soil. Pots. Tools. Even a modest little greenhouse.

I felt I was ready.

And then... I was hit with a nice little dose of reality.

The greenhouse needed a foundation because with our heavy winds, it could blow away. The beds needed prepping.

The soil even needed a certain level of acidity, like WHAT? How do I even achieve that?

The vision now felt exhausting.

So I did what any recovering and tired cycle breaker does, I looked at my unplanted seeds week after week and didn’t plant a thing.

Each week that passed, I felt the same two things: frustration, and guilt.

I wanted this. I cared about this.

So why was I avoiding it?

For a while, I beat myself up about it.

But in my logical mind, I know that the part us that get excited about an idea is not the same part that finishes it.

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THE BRAIN ON NEW BEGINNINGS

When a new idea shows up, your brain throws a party.

Possibility. Transformation. The finished product, fully formed in your mind.

DOPAMINE on a 100!

And it tends to peak right at the beginning of something new and exciting.

But, execution requires sustained attention, planning, working memory, emotional regulation and follow-through.

In other words, execution requires executive functioning, which doesn’t run on excitement. It runs on bandwidth.

So basically an ADHD-ers nightmare!!

But it’s something that goes even further than attentional challenges.

Chronic stress, burnout, trauma recovery, anxiety, depression, major transitions; any of these can quietly drain the very system you need to follow through.

So, what happens?

• You procrastinate despite caring deeply about the goal (me!)

• You feel overwhelmed by where to begin (me!)

• You start multiple projects without finishing any of them (ugh also me!)

And this could be because your nervous system (and mine!) are already at capacity.

In that state, your nervous system gets really good at reacting and not so good at organizing and finishing.

Learning this didn’t solve my problem, but it helped me to build some inner compassion. And I hope it does the same for you.

A CLOSING THOUGHT

If your notebook is full of unfinished ideas, it may simply mean your nervous system needs different support than the one you’ve been giving it.

Like a garden, growth and finishing will come from small, repeated acts of care. The kind that go unnoticed until one day you look up and something has actually taken root.

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REFLECTION QUESTION

Let’s end with some reflection.

What’s one project, goal, or dream you’ve been carrying that deserves a smaller, kinder next step, instead of more self-criticism? Share it below.

For other ways for us to connect, you’re warmly invited to explore the following offering:

New therapy slots available in NJ, FL, & FL → Schedule a Free Consultation

Until soon,

Dr. Mariel