WTF is Work-Life Balance?

Why are work memes so popular? Why do we collectively dislike HR? How come the world united with what happened at the Coldplay concert?

Probably because the trauma of a workplace is very real.

I often write about new places I travel to, but today I want to write about a place a lot of us spend a large amount of time in - the workplace.

I don’t know how it has been for the previous generations. I would like to know and understand their perspective of hard work and loyalty.

But as a millennial, there are certain things that we faced harshly – from recessions to Covid during major debt years. And we saw with a lot of clarity in our peak career stages that you cannot trust your bosses to have your back. The ones who have are rare and standouts.

A friend of mine told me that the biggest red flag is when a boss says, “We work like family!”

I mostly agree because in my experience, the first time a boss told me that I ended up in “mild depression”. The second time — “Burnout.” The third time — “Huge Disappointment.”

So, since last year, I’ve been a changed person at work. I have boundaries — cheers to GenZ who made this their thing. No matter how much they are made fun of, I love them!

I’m not cold but not a “ray of sunshine” anymore when it means business.

There’s just a clarity of thought that I have skills and someone needs them. And I need the jobs, to pay my bills and follow my dreams.

So, I’ll write this newsletter with passion. But not give my passion to someone else’s dream.

Competency and sincerity at work is possible without “working like friends and family” and without pouring heart and passion into company goals and targets.

I was never a pushover at work but at the same time I didn’t understand this boundary before. From day 1 of every job or project I took up, it didn’t take any effort from my side to work like a team because it was just natural. In fact the kindest compliment I received was from a very compassionate mentor who said, “You own it while working on it.”

As much as it was a good quality to have, and I was appreciated for it a lot — time and again, boundaries used to get blurred. I admit I did get attached, to push the brand, the project forward.

But sometimes it doesn’t click. And especially if someone knows nothing except workplace scenarios that our seniors accepted as the norm — and which now easily fall under the “toxic” category — you can’t help it.

The Healing Is Real

It takes actual, real healing work to move on from a toxic workplace scenario. Even if practically we know that a “work team” is not your whole world, we spend ample amounts of time at work.

While quitting my last long-term full-time gig, something in me changed. And it changed for good. I no longer have the intention to be extra nice and give my extra, without extra pay.

Any industry leader or TED Talk that talks of extra work being rewarded is probably talking of a different era or of absolute rare cases.

Expecting extra from employees is mostly gaslighting — a way to make you slog while your personal life and health suffer.

It took me more than a decade to tell myself — “don’t give your best work to projects and people who do not deserve it.” Give your best for what was discussed and what you are paid for.

So, the extra hours, the extra care — I’ll give it to myself, my dreams, my goals.

We can Laugh but we also need to Talk

The trauma of a bad workplace is very real, although talking about it might be looked down upon.

Maybe that’s why corporate memes and jokes unite people globally. It’s the only safe, socially acceptable way to say out loud that this is hurting us. It isn’t talked about loudly because it is looked down upon and the sufferer suffers even more when they speak openly.

I want to read personal essays on work culture experiences — good and bad. Anybody out there? Beyond the memes, let’s keep sharing, talking and acknowledging the importance of good work cultures.

I am Namrata Gohain, a designer-turned-storyteller, writer, and content producer. I document stories on responsible travel, crafts, cuisine, slow living, and my creative journey.

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