The Protagonist’s Choice: Why “Choosing Magic” is Hard Work (Not Spiritual Bypassing)

“I believe in the magic of things.” - Sundari Malcolm, Grief, Death and Life Doula, Founder of A Healing Doula Academy

When I recently spoke with someone I care deeply about, I shared with her the words my friend Sundari had said to me just that morning: “I believe in the magic of things.” And because our brains often push back on such strong statements as “I believe” it can be helpful to add the words “I choose to believe”.

Notice the word choose.

If you say “I believe,” it implies a state of being that you either have or you don’t. But if you say “I choose to believe,” you are acknowledging the struggle. You are admitting that the default setting of the world right now is cynicism, fear and the very real discomfort of seeing harm.

This is the work.

It is the protagonist’s work.

Every great story has a protagonist. Whether it’s a hero in a fantasy epic or a quiet character in a literary drama, there is almost always a moment where the narrative hinges on a single, defiant choice: The choice to believe in the magic of things.

In fiction, this belief is often the weapon that defeats the darkness. But in real life, we rarely call it “magic.” We call it “hope,” “resilience” or “faith.” And often, we are told that believing in these things is a form of spiritual bypassing - a way to ignore the pain, the injustice and the sheer discomfort of the human experience.

I want to challenge that.

Choosing to believe in the magic of things is not about ignoring the discomfort. It is not about pretending the world isn’t broken or that the people who hurt us didn’t do so. It is not a passive wish.

It is an active, effortful and empowering practice.

• It is the effort to look at a person who looks nothing like you, sounds nothing like you and thinks nothing like you and choose to see the magic in their humanity.

• It is the effort to sit with the discomfort of a difficult conversation and choose to believe that connection is still possible.

• It is the effort to face the harm, division and pain of existing in the world and choosing to pour energy into the magic of the solution, the healing and the bridge.

• It is the effort to embrace your own magic; the special formula that only you can bring to life through your thoughts, feelings and actions.

This isn’t bypassing. Bypassing is running away from the pain. Choosing magic is walking straight through the pain with a lantern in your hand.

It requires you to do the hard work of unlearning unhelpful thought and behavior patterns and learning what the magic actually looks like, sounds like and feels like. It requires you to study the stories of resilience. It requires you to practice seeing the light in the dark, even when your eyes are stinging from the smoke.

It is effortful. It is sometimes exhausting. And it is the most empowering and energizing thing you can do.

Because when we stop choosing to see the magic, we stop seeing the humanity in each other. And that is where the real harm begins.

So, I invite you to make the choice today. Not because it’s easy. Not because the world is perfect. But because the story of our lives depends on a protagonist who refuses to let the darkness have the final word.

I choose to believe in the magic of things. What are you choosing to believe in today? Send this post to someone who needs to be reminded they can choose to believe in the magic of things even during tricky life experiences…

P.S. Sundari Malcolm is a phenomenal human and I highly recommend you check out her body of work and engage with her and it! You can also listen to episode #66 of my podcast that features her.