Crying Foul on Trump’s Red Card Meddling (And a Recipe!)

FIFA president Fianni Infantino? A word, please?

Dude. You had the chance to be the grownup in the room, and you just couldn’t do it, could you? It was terrible enough when you made up that “world peace” prize that looked like something off Aldi’s Aisle of Shame to give Trump but this red card business takes your Olympic gold level of ass-kissing to new heights. Or should I say lowts?

To be clear, I’m not sure the red card was entirely deserved but why is this the business of the president of the United States? I’m still pissy about Christian Laettner stomping Aminu Timberlake’s chest back in ’92. Should Trump busy himself with relitigating that?

Don’t feed that which should be starved, Fianni. Stop being such a, well, infantino. Trump notoriously turns on even the most loyal sycophants and you’ll be no exception, simply joining the Botoxed detritus of hangers on and wannabes.

Why is the leader of the free world intervening in a penalty in a World Cup game? Doesn’t he have a self-inflicted war to manage or a barely-scraping-by family’s finances to torpedo somewhere in the Midwest?

What’s next? Will he pressure the LPGA to give his granddaughter a completely unearned spot in a prestigious tournament in which she will take the place of a more deserving collegiate golfer and finish last of 108 players? Oh, wait.

Like the mafia “Don” he behaves like much of the time, Trump must have given Infantino an offer he couldn’t refuse though it’s still a confusing move because his MAGA base probably finds soccer as sexy as the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Buford doesn’t cotton to sports full of furriners wearing shorts who can’t even use their God-given HANDS.

If he’s not doing it to curry favor with the base, why then? I’m sure there’s some heinous, cash-infusing reason but, just once, wouldn’t it be nice not to have such a meddling Gladys Kravitz of a president? Yes. Yes, it would.

As we head into the meat of The Omen, Part II, as I like to call Trump’s second term, we find ourselves becoming immune to that which used to enrage us. And that’s what I’ve been worried about all along. Maybe you have been, too.

When Trump, who, again, should have plenty of legit country-running fires to put out instead posts a meme on Truth Social mocking Taylor Swift’s wedding, you have to wonder, did he share a pillow with RFK Jr. at Creep-away camp and get a brainworm, too?

Sadly, this heinous behavior doesn’t provoke the Cat 5 outrage it would have even a few months ago.

Here’s a quick quiz for you: Last week’s revelation Trump has profited (notice I did not say “earned”) $2.2 billion from mostly crypto currency schemes in the last year, alone, earned (A) strong and surprisingly bipartisan rebuke from members of Congress, (B) formation of a committee to look into impeachment proceedings based on the violation of the emoluments clause of the Constitution or (C) a shrug and request to pass the mustard because these five hot dogs may just fill the void where our collective soul previously resided.

If you guessed “C,” you are seriously cynical. Also correct.

If you could sum up our national mood right now, it would probably be: “Ahhh, whatareyagonnado?”

This is a response psychologists might call “intensely fucked up.” In light of all that’s at stake these days, let’s remember to stay indignant, riled up and ornery, shall we?

Trump’s a recipe for disaster. This easy summer side dish from The New York Times is definitely not that. Make it 1-2 days ahead for maximum flavor. This serves 6; double (or triple) as needed.

GREEN BEAN SALAD WITH DILL PICKLES & FETA

½ cup chopped dill pickles plus 3 tablespoons pickle brine

½ small purple or white onion, thinly sliced

Salt and pepper

1 pound green beans, trimmed

4 ounces feta, crumbled plus (optional) feta brine for seasoning

2 tablespoons olive oil

1/3 cup chopped, toasted walnuts (optional)

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Meanwhile, in a large bowl, stir together pickles, pickle brine, onion and a few grinds of pepper.

Season boiling water heavily with salt, then add the green beans. Cook until brighter green and just tender, 4-5 minutes. Drain, rinse under cold water until cool to the touch and pat dry with a kitchen towel.

Add the green beans to the pickles and stir to combine, then add the feta and olive oil and stir once more. Cover and refrigerate overnight before serving. Season to taste with salt (or feta brine) and pepper before serving. Add (optional) walnuts just before serving.

Note: After assembling, I like to randomly cut the beans in half or thirds to make it easier to get a bite with all the ingredients.