Sometimes what you already know impacts you in a fresh way, causing you think about it slightly differently. Last month I heard again about the concept of ‘The Dash’, perhaps you’ve heard of it too. The idea is focused on what you do with the dash that separates your birth date and your death date. The Dash is the prospective retrospective on your life, who you were, what you did, what you said, your relationships - the enormous, all-encompassing what you did with your life.
The Dash is the prospective retrospective on your life…
So what am I doing with my dash? Am I still using my dash wisely? Am I still on the right course of action? Am I making a positive difference in the lives of those around me and in my community? Have I done enough? What do I still want to do? What is my legacy? At first these questions were helpful, then they weren’t. I got stuck in the 30,000 foot view of my life, teetering on the edge between analysis and overwhelm.
A few days later still thinking about my dash, my morning meditation via the Headspace app sent me spinning. Focused on prioritization, the meditation asked something like, “…if you died tomorrow, what would you be glad that you did today?” Not a new concept, but again, it landed hard. Like a top that was flung onto the table, I was less like a precise gyroscope and more like one of my dreidels that was spun with too much power.
My peaceful meditation abruptly skittered off into anxiety and dread. Wait, what, are you kidding me…I know I’m going to die, why does the app have to mention it…oh, my heart is racing…where should I be buried… this is definitely not what the meditation intended me to do…this isn’t peaceful…I’m perfectly healthy…calm down…I’m trying…I’m probably not going to die this year….what am I doing with my dash…if I were to die tomorrow, there’s so much I haven’t done yet…this is just like the panic after my first cancer diagnosis…maybe I should write a goodbye letter to each of my children…I never made all those scrapbooks, maybe I could do one today…I’ll just sit here and hug my pets…I have to write letters to my sisters too…breathe…calm down…the app is still talking…breathe…breathe…breathe.
After I reigned in my panicked thoughts, I worked hard to put down the overwhelming concept of the dash. I focused on the present, on the specifics. Instead of freaking out about how much time I had left in my life, I wanted to be productive with what I could learn from my panic. Now sometimes I can be productive with panic, sometimes I can’t. This time I could and one word was at the heart of my ruminations. Since I enjoy picking a word of the year to help guide my aims and goals, I could feel my gut telling me my word. Forget my brainstorming list of possible words, this year wasn’t going to be centered on Stretch (that was 2019) or Fearless (that was 2021). My word of the year for 2025 is Time.
It’s easier for me to think about my time, year, aims, and goals when I base it all on my personal values. So this year I’m asking myself how does my time reflect my values? It’s my foundation - how do my words and actions reflect my values? Tikkun olam (the Jewish tenet of repairing the world) and family are two of my values, so how am I going to use my time in 2025 to embody them? I’m planning aims and goals for my work (ex: relaunch this newsletter, start a podcast) and for my personal life (ex: take 50 hikes, make one scrapbook).
As you well know if you’ve been part of a strategic planning process at work, identifying values allows the organization to clearly state their vision and mission, which leads them to their goals. So whether you’re thinking about your dash, your aims for the year, or your goals, I suggest that basing them on your values will bring you clarity.
What are some of your principles and ideals that are the compass for your life? Living in alignment with your values clarifies your aims, goals, intentions, words, and behavior. It reduces decision fatigue when faced with daily decisions about how to speak and act. [Fun fact: I didn’t know about decision fatigue until I read this interview in 2012 by Michael Lewis with President Obama.]
Your values give you clarity about what you’re doing with your dash. What will you be glad that you did? How will you change over the course of this year? Ask yourself: What will I do with my 2025?
It’s your dash, use it wisely.
Perhaps you don’t like to set aims or resolutions for the new year. If you do like them, you’ve probably set them already. Maybe, like me, you’re starting off a little more slowly with this new calendar year. Either way, I hope that thinking of your 2025 via your values brings you less overwhelm and more clarity.
I’m curious: Do you enjoy setting personal aims, resolutions, or goals for the new year? Or is that the last thing you’d do? Please let me know in the comments!
P.S. Two poems written by Linda Ellis depict the dash idea. The original poem The Dash and her new 2024 version The Dash Between are both listed on her website, enjoy.
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