A Personal Motto

It never occurred to me to have a personal motto until I was deep in the weeds of parenting, surviving on too little sleep, and trying hard to be a good mother. I didn't know that personal mottos existed or that I should create a personal slogan to reflect the content of my character, guide my words and actions, support my integrity, and help me be a better person.

With two young children (age two and under), their toddlerhood and infancy completely consumed me. I was overwhelmed and really stressed out. We had a happy family life, but I felt like I was constantly struggling with lots of little parenting moments. In the long run, those little moments would add up to big results based on how I handled them.

I worried about getting it wrong.

I did everything I could to help each of them become a good person, so I focused on modeling the behavior I wanted them to exhibit. Normal sibling rivalry was a daily prompt for me to talk about how our words and actions impact not only ourselves, but also impact everyone around us. Those talks included both long and short conversations, but none of them involved a personal motto.

We had a family code of discipline that was our set of guidelines and expectations for words, actions, how we treat ourselves, and how we treat others. I layered all of that with stories from The Berenstain Bears and Clifford the Big Red Dog that presented our values in a fun way.

But sometimes I didn’t have the time or patience for a longer, thoughtful explanation and redirection.

Sure, I knew that I had the right ideas, positive and negative examples to draw from, and great parenting books to help guide me. What I really needed was a framework for it all to balance my frustrations with my intentions. 

I was desperate for something that would help me be the parent I wanted to be, instead of the parent I didn’t want to become.

My personal desperation created inspiration. I needed a personal motto. 

At the time I was volunteering with the America’s Junior Miss program (now called Distinguished Young Women) in my local town, and their theme ‘Be Your Best Self’ resonated with me. Our activities focused on educating the high school girls about current events and mentoring them as they went through personal growth and reflection activities woven with the program elements of ‘…morality, integrity, honesty, love, respect, and hope.’

Inspired by the growth of those high school girls, I created my personal motto as a shorthand code to hold my parenting guidance.

When I decided that ‘Be Your Best Self. Work Hard. Be Kind.’ was my personal motto, it started to change me it subtle and obvious ways. I used it to check my words and my responses to stressful situations. I used it to guide my parenting conversations. When I used it, I was a better version of myself, and that positively impacted my children and my husband.

My husband starting using my personal motto in his interactions and conversations with our children. We decided that it should become our family motto, a foundational concept for each of us. It was the set of phrases that we used daily with ourselves and our children.

Our personal motto was woven into conversations with our children in the car on the way to school, in conversations at the dinner table, and before we tucked them into bed at night. It impacted how we talked to and treated each other.

Our personal motto become the driving force behind our quest for personal excellence, self improvement, better relationships with others, and knowing ourselves better.

Be Your Best Self is the first component of my personal motto and the foundational concept that encompasses the other two parts of the motto.

• Short on time but need to talk with one another about something that was going to take place? Have the quick conversation, cover the basics, then end it with Be Your Best Self.

• Deciding on how to respond to a work situation that stresses you out? Be Your Best Self.

• How to respond when someone says something antisemitic or racist? Do the right thing, speak out against what they said, and Be Your Best Self.

The second part of my personal motto, Work Hard, is focused on the effort we expend. You can't control the results, but you can control what you put into the work, play, relationship, and situation.

• Going to practice in the sun and heat because you’ve got to get in the repetition that will make you a better, more accurate, and stronger archer? Work Hard.

• Looking at a tough schedule for the next day? Work Hard.

• Dreading that exam coming up and all of the studying it requires? Work Hard.

The third and final part of my personal motto, Be Kind, is based in what my grandfather always said to me when I was a child. He helped raise me and his key phrase was 'Be Sweet.' A phrase reflective of my southern Georgia summers spent with my grandparents, his intention was to guide me to 'Be Kind.'

• Impatient in the long line at the grocery store? Be Kind.

• Frustrated by what someone just said to you? Be Kind.

• Tempted to act or say something that appeals to your base instincts, but not to your higher self? Be Kind.

The burden of making hundreds of decisions each day drains our mental and emotional abilities. Having a personal motto will help you avoid some decision fatigue, because you use the motto to pre-decide how you will speak and act in future moments. So when something comes up, you don’t have to wade through indecision about how to respond. Let your personal motto inform your response.

A personal motto will help you align the content of your character with your thoughts, intentions, words, and actions. It will motivate you, help you stick to good habits, and help you achieve your goals. Just as the arrow hits the target, you will hit what you aim for. Aim to Be Your Best Self and Live Your Best Life. Your personal motto will guide you to hit the target.

Aim to Be Your Best Self and Live Your Best Life.

I’m curious: Do you have a personal motto? If so, what is it? If you don’t have a personal motto, what slogan or motto might you adopt? What personal motto ideas, words, and phrases resonate with you? Please let me know in the comments!