🎭When You Recruit Your Judas
I once advised a senior leader in a large organisation. She was everything a leader should be: sharp, strategic, compassionate, and deeply experienced.
But then... she crossed paths with a young woman in distress. A complicated personal situation. Emotional chaos. A heavy victim narrative. Out of pure compassion, she brought her in as a temporary helper.
And then, the excuses started:
She excused the lack of consistency.
She excused the disengagement.
She excused every single red flag.
She kept saying: “She’s going through something; she will get better.”
When a stable position opened up, the leader encouraged her to apply. And right then, the helper asked for an unethical favour—a shortcut that tested the leader’s integrity. The leader said no, of course... but she kept her in the process anyway. Her compassion had officially overridden her discernment.
The helper got the job. And slowly, she became her boss’s worst nightmare. Gossip, conflict, triangulation, and zero accountability.
Little did she know... she had recruited her own Judas.
🇨🇲 The Lesson from Odimba
Let me take you back to my childhood in Cameroon. We had a house helper, whom we will call “Odimba”. Odimba stole and lied compulsively. My mother fired her.
A few years later, she came back, crying, on her knees: promises, tears, the whole show. So, she was rehired. And then? She stole again…And again!
As a child, I remember thinking: If someone has shown you who they are, why do you need a second demonstration? Compassion is beautiful. But compassion without discernment? Extremely risky. ⚠️
🚩Why We Ignore the Red Flags
Here is the truth, whether we talk about leadership or love: We don’t ignore red flags because we are stupid.
We ignore them because we have already decided what role that person should play in our lives. * We are in love with their “potential.”
We are emotionally invested in a fantasy of what we will do together.
We reinterpret the signals and silence our intuition.
We call character flaws “just a bad season.”
We avoid having the tough conversations.
📖 The Anatomy of a Betrayal: The Case of Judas
When we think of betrayal in leadership, the ultimate historical reference is the relationship between Jesus (the visionary leader) and Judas Iscariot, one of his closest inner circle members.
We often think Judas’s betrayal was a sudden, isolated event. But if you look at the text, the signs were there.
As mentioned in John 12:4–6, during a dinner, a woman named Mary took a jar of expensive perfume to wash Jesus’ feet. Judas was the one who protested. He claimed the money should have been given to the poor.
But the Bible is very specific about his motive. It says: “He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.” Judas was the treasurer. He was in charge of the resources, and he was already mismanaging them long before he betrayed his leader.
Then in Matthew 26, Judas goes to the authorities on his own initiative, asking: “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” They agreed on thirty pieces of silver, and the rest is history.
The lesson for us? Before the ultimate betrayal, there was a long, quiet pattern of small thefts and misalignments. Jesus knew “what was in man,” but we are not omniscient. We cannot see hearts; we can only see observable data over time. Character and growth aren’t one-time events; we have to rely on the consistency of patterns.
⚖️Integrity Over Empathy
Yes, people can change. Yes, growth is possible. But growth has visible and consistent fruits. It is not theatrical. It’s not a dramatic apology or a passionate promise with a thousand roses. It’s consistent behavior.
If you give someone a second chance, that’s your right. But:
Do not give them responsibility before you see character.
Do not give them access before you see integrity over time.
Do not give them power just because you feel sorry for them.
In leadership, as in love: at some point, ignoring a pattern becomes a decision that you will have to take responsibility for.
🗓️Next Chapter
If you are a leader navigating complex dynamics at work, or if you have questions regarding your career or a project, you do not have to process this alone.
I invite you to join “Next Chapter”, our monthly intimate group coaching session. It’s a safe and thought-provoking space to put things in perspective, with the support of a coach (me!) and a group of fellow professionals, so you can move forward with confidence and clarity.
📍 Where: Online - Register here
📅 When: Saturday February 28, 2026
⏰ Time: 14:00–15:30 CET
🌍 Language: Bilingual (French / English)
✨A Kind Reminder
Discernment is wisdom. In love and in business, wisdom sometimes requires us to slow down, observe, and set guardrails.
You don’t need to be betrayed five times to validate your intuition. It’s okay to forgive, and it’s also okay to have the hard conversations and let go.
Trust that a better-suited collaborator, a better business opportunity, or a better destiny partner will come, without you having to negotiate your standards or ignore the ringing bell of your intuition.
❤️Happy Valentine’s day, et à bientôt,
Candace
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