I once had a client. She was Brilliant, competent, experienced.
But she was exhausted.
Her manager had turned her into a target. We’re talking irrational outbursts, isolating her from the team, stealing her work. Every time she shone in or outsideofthe workplace, she got hit with a backlash.
At one point, she looked at me and asked:
“Should I just become smaller? Maybe I’m too visible.”
I paused, and I shared my own “Cinderella” work story.
Cinderella, especially in the version adapted for Disney, wasn’t mistreated because she lacked “communication skills.”
She was mistreated because her stepmother was insecure.
Sometimes, the hostility you face is just the consequence of small minds sitting in big seats. People with authority but zero emotional regulation. They don’t manage their fear, they don’t manage their ego or their traumas, so they manage you.
And your life becomes a nightmare.
You Can’t Negotiate with Toxicity
Sometimes people are told to be “resilient.” They tell us to use “emotional intelligence” to round off the edges so the system keeps turning.
But there’s a truth people hate to admit: You cannot negotiate with toxicity.
Look at the Bible. King David was identified as the next King while Saul was still on the throne. Saul felt threatened and threw spears at him. Literally.
David didn’t stand there trying to “understand Saul’s trauma.” He respected the position, sure, but he wisely left the palace.
Cinderella’s Real Strategy
In the same way, Cinderella didn’t try to do “HR mediation” with her stepmother. She didn’t try to heal her stepsisters’ childhood wounds to excuse their cruelty.
She did three things:
She protected her inner garden—her heart, her health, her safety.
She built quiet alliances—her mice friends and fairy godmother—out of sight of the oppressor.
She grabbed the exit the moment it opened.
Now, a quick “Kind Reminder”: Keep your notes, keep your emails. Keep a journal of incidents. Document everything to be able to leave on your own terms with your reputation intact. And while you document for your safety, live for and build your next chapter.
Let Me Make This Personal
In Miracle Sans Frontières — Tome 1, I share a season of my life in Abidjan almost two decades ago.
At that time, my “evil stepmother” was an emotionally and physically abusive relationship.
I could have let that dynamic define me and shrink.
But life sent me “mice.” Unexpected allies and a Fairy Godmother in the form of the Internet. Access to information and opportunities I didn’t even know existed.
My ticket to the “Ball” was a one-way plane ticket from Abidjan to Paris to start over at Essec Business School.
That was my palace, and the Prince was the freedom building a career in my own terms gave me.
I refused to let a hostile house define my identity. You can discover my story by ordering Miracle Beyond Borders (Part. 1) on Amazon. A must-read for yourself or as a gift!
Shift Your Posture
If you’re in a toxic environment right now: Do not isolate. Cinderella didn’t survive alone. Neither did David nor did I. Look beyond your department. Build relationships with clients. Find a mentor. Network outside of work. Stay visible.
Your career should never depend on one insecure gatekeeper.
Also, your current environment is a season, not your identity.
When Cinderella showed up at the Ball, she didn’t introduce herself as “the girl who cleans the fireplace.” She showed up as royalty.
A bad boss doesn’t define your value. Do not internalize their dirt; nobody lost their entitlement to royalty because they were temporarily in the kitchen.
Next Chapter
If you are currently navigating a limiting work, stuck at a career crossroad or yearning for more, do not walk this path alone. I invite you to join our next intimate group coaching session.
It’s a safe and thought-provoking space to put things in perspective, with the support of a coach (me!) and a group of fellow professionals, so you can move forward with confidence and clarity.
🗓 Next Chapter – Group Coaching Session
📍 Online - https://candacenkoth.substack.com/p/next-session-we-can-do-it
📅 Saturday February 28 2026
⏰ 14:00–15:30 CET
🌍 Bilingual (French / English)
Final Word
So, make sure to build your village, documenting your reality, and preparing your exit with grace.
You are not disloyal for outgrowing a house that’s trying to keep you small. There is a kingdom, a better career and unprecedented fulfillment that awaits you on the other side!
A bientôt,
Candace
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