I’m back. And today I’m sharing an interview full of wisdom.
First, a quick note about my Substack. In two weeks, you will see a new format. I’ve been giving a lot of thought about time, what I want to share, and the types of emails I gravitate towards.
weekly inspiration
life-centered insights
book recommendations
highlights from incredible podcasts and conversations
Now…meet Laura Munson.
How long does it take to write a Modern Love column in the New York Times that goes viral?
If you’re Laura Munson it takes less than an hour.
Why? Because when she wrote Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear, she was in a moment of “awe” in her marriage. Her husband told her he didn’t love her anymore, and she wasn’t having it. Then, putting pen to paper, she hit the vein of truth, and the words poured out of her. Her essay crashed the The New York Times comments section.
All of this stunned Laura. Initially, she dreamed of publishing a novel, but life had other plans. She had created a firestorm with her essay, and a book deal for a memoir—This Is Not the Story You Think It Is—soon followed.
In her latest book, The Wild Why, she explores the importance of honoring your creativity. Expressing oneself through words is Laura’s core. She has written dozens of books, some that sit on the shelves collecting dust, but she is always creating.
Our conversation on About Your Mother is about setting yourself free, finding awe, and living your truth.
Laura descends from hardy farming people who didn’t have a lot of money, but they still cherished the finer things, like the fine china they passed down through generations. Each piece has a story behind it that’s told every time the family sets the table. For Laura, becoming a storyteller was deeply ingrained in her DNA.
In her Modern Love essay, she wrote about finding emotional liberation in a time of rejection. Her words spread across the globe and held a mirror up to the fact that too many people prefer to play the victim instead of examining how their thought patterns influence their lives.
Laura never expected that writing about her own life would become so popular, but it has taught her to go with the creative flow.
After facing years of rejection, she knows that success and failure are myths. The only real thing is doing the work with all your heart and in a healthy way.
Laura says that writing is her practice, her prayer, her meditation, and her way to life. She began writing fiction in 1988, shortly after graduating from college.
At her Haven’s Writing Retreats and through her work as an editor, Laura teaches writers to decouple themselves from the idea of the tortured artist. She helps them embrace centering the work, not the accolades that may or may not come with it.
One of her key points is that writing isn’t just about writing; it’s about living in a way that helps you discover what you want to say. Taking an intentional walk, making soup, or playing with a child could be writing.
“It’s not about the words. It’s about what’s behind them, beneath them, and what’s left in their wake. Writers need to find the playful nature of writing and fall in love with the process.”
An essential part of the writing process is listening to and trusting your intuition. For that, you need to experience wonder, curiosity, and a sense of awe. These are the secret ingredients behind intuition and creativity.
You have to make space for these ingredients. Laura does so by going on mindful walks away from her phone.
Laura’s newest book, The Wild Why, combats the ideas that you’re not creative, you don’t have a voice, and you’re stuck. After speaking on stages in front of thousands of women and hearing these sentiments echoed over and over again, Laura decided to start a writer’s retreat in Montana.
The retreats became a safe place for women to discover their self-expression and explore the power they were giving to their inner critic. Laura has met several writers at the epitome of success, and what she’s realized is that they still don’t feel like they’re enough. S
No accolade or award will ever make you feel like enough, so you must confront the inner critic that tells you you aren’t enough in the first place. This is a significant component in Laura’s work with others.
Laura wanted to encapsulate the retreat experience into a book, which became The Wild Why. She believes that everything we do is an act of creation, and the root of feeling like you’re “stuck” or don’t have a voice is fear. The book explores how to cultivate introspection and address the thought patterns that are holding you back.
To cultivate wonder and creativity, you must experience curiosity and awe. Our modern society is characterized by a strong emphasis on curiosity, yet it also exhibits a notable lack of awe. The reason for that is that we take our curiosity straight to Google and find immediate answers to our questions.
“To have awe is to stop, observe, behold, and abide. Can you stop and look at a rainbow in utter awe without taking a picture of it to post on the Internet?
Wonder can sound like a silly idea, but without wonder, we don’t have empathy. Without empathy, we don’t have a thriving civilization.”
We haven’t lost our wonder, but we need to uncover it, and it starts with taking more time for curiosity and awe. If your ambition is telling you that you’re not enough, let go of it and start chasing wonder instead. Go slowly and rediscover the playful nature in your work.
So much of life is following the invisible pulse of energy that leads us to our destiny, and this is something Laura cultivates for herself and others at her Haven Writing Retreats.
Because when you find your truth, when you come from a place of raw knowing, incredible things can happen.
XO Jen
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