With the holidays upon us, it’s a time of reflection, gratitude, and immersion.
1. Let Them
Mel Robbins is everywhere and for good reason. She distills complicated topics into bite-sized takeaways that help you believe in yourself and cope with a messy world.
Her latest book, The Let Them Theory, has sold millions of copies, and there’s a reason. Mel taps into the simple rule that if you let people be who they are, you, in turn, can say, “let me,” be who I am.
As families gather for the holidays, there is no doubt we will face moments where we need to step out of ourselves and “Let Them.” Families are complicated because they are a mix of different personalities with long histories. Pulling from a lesson in her book, Mel’s take on dealing with family dynamics is a good reminder this season.
2. The Family Stone
Do you think your family is messy? There are so many go-to Holiday movies, but there is one I never miss watching every year - The Family Stone. This movie perfectly captures the imperfect love found in families. Sarah Jessica Parker is hard to watch in the best way. And of course, the formidable Diane Keaton was a dream.
The movie is a perfect reminder to love your messy.
3. Exposure Versus Immersion
Every week, I receive a report on podcast downloads, and there is always one getting a lot of attention - When Cultures Collide with Susan Blumberg-Kason. Our conversation has hit a nerve.
It’s one thing to study a culture. It’s another to marry into it. It’s something else entirely to live it—and survive it.
When I read Susan’s book, Good Chinese Wife, I couldn’t put it down. Her memoir is a deeply honest, sometimes harrowing, and unexpectedly hopeful account of what happens when you follow love across borders, cultures, and expectations—and find yourself somewhere you never meant to be.
What Stayed With Me from Susan’s Story
“Denial is so easy. But when you know there’s a better way, you owe it to yourself to seek it.” Susan’s path to truth wasn’t just brave—it was necessary. And familiar to anyone who’s ever tried to hold something together at their own expense.
“I thought I was prepared. But I was only exposed, not immersed.” You can study a culture, speak the language, know the customs—and still be blindsided when you step into a lived experience that doesn’t match the picture you had.
“I felt like I needed permission to leave.”And when her mother said, “You don’t have to put up with this,” it gave her the courage to imagine another life.
“Children are better off with one strong parent than two who are falling apart.” This wisdom, shared with Susan by two lawyers, redefined her sense of responsibility—and allowed her to act on behalf of her son.
A Few Quiet Truths from This Episode
Just because something feels “unusual” doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And just because something is “traditional” doesn’t mean it’s right.
The stories we live through can become the stories that help others survive.
You don’t need to wait for everything to fall apart to start protecting your own peace.
Susan’s Books and More
📚 Good Chinese Wife🖋 Bernadine’s Shanghai Salon🖤 Hong Kong Noir (co-editor)🌐 susanbkason.com
This episode isn’t just about cultural differences. It’s about agency, safety, and becoming the person you were meant to be.
There is so much to be grateful for
Happy Thanksgiving,
XO J
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